straight people mad at “gays only event” jokes like they dont restrict blood donations, hotels, schools, jobs, and adoption. Zzzzzzzzzz
yeah but that’s to keep blood clean you’re just tryna exclude people to be rude
Straight people aren’t doing any restrictions for blood donations because of your sexuality, they restrict donation based on your participation in anal sex regardless of orientation. That is what they ask you, they don’t ask if you’re gay they ask if you have engaged in or regularly engage in anal sex because it has a higher rate of transferring the kinds of communicable diseases they can’t accept in blood samples. So everyone, not just the gays, who fucks people in the butt is not donating blood.
Literally what the fuck are you talking about?
SO Y’ALL CAN JUST TALK WITHOUT USING LITERALLY FACTS NOW??? THAT’S REALLY COOL ZXDFCGVHBJNK
Anyway here are the real ass facts:
-It is 100% a ban on MSM blood…. Not that “its about all anal sex” bullshit…. That is how it has been since 1985 when the FDA put a ban on anyone that had “participated in MSM sexual contact since 1975″
-This regulation was changed to just a 12 month deferral which is still honestly bullshit (this includes long term relationships) Here is what the Current blood donor questionaire looks like
-What does this mean for blood donation? It means 360,000 otherwise eligible donors cannot donate. That is 615,000 pints of blood that could save the lives of 1 million people, unable to donate because of sexual orientation and/or sexual conduct (x)
-The real kicker in this ban is that the Red Cross (the leader in blood donation/blood drive) screens all blood that is donated for infectious diseases before it is admitted to blood banks (x)
-The FDA’s ban on MSM blood is doing off more harm than good. I have friends who have been put into uncomfortable and even dangerous situations because of Blood Drives, friends who have been outed because of people asking for blood donations, and even in it’s broadest sense, the Blood Ban promotes homophobia and serophobia and a deadly combination of the two.
TL;DR: Before you talk about the blood ban (whether you support it, are against it, whatever) Know what you’re saying because it affects real people in very real ways.
Imagine living in the year 2018 and thinking that blood donation restrictions on gay men are anything other than outright homophobia. The Straights are WILD!
And if they made the qualification ‘have had unprotected anal sex in the last 12 months’ if that higher risk activity is what they are really worried about, it would be a whole different population they are excluding. Like, if it is the bareback anal population you need to exclude for extra super safety despite screenings, then just ask that! Then it isn’t homophobic and I bet cuts across a lot of sexualities (though I can’t honestly say how the #s of suddenly ineligible donors would change. It might be a similar # just different people)
something that’s annoying about the whole corporate pride merch discourse is how people respond like “oh so i can’t buy a rainbow shirt now??” etc. But, firstly, no one is saying that. If buying a pride shirt from somewhere like amazon or target is all you’re able to afford or that’s available in your area, then obviously feel free to do so and don’t worry about whether or not you’re “valid” (buying pride merch from big companies isn’t any worse than buying other stuff anyway)
but if you do have the means and access to do so, then a much better way to get cool pride stuff is to buy it directly from lgbt artists (either the tons that are on tumblr, or local artists who have booths to sell from at places like arts shows and pride fests) or buy merchandise from the online stores of reputable lgbt non profit charity and advocacy organizations. That way you can get your rainbow shirts, but at the same time you also get to actually contribute to supporting the community in some way rather than giving your money to corporate overlords who will just use it to exploit workers and the environment
Revel & Riot (nonprofit that makes tshirts and donates partial proceeds to lgbt orgs, often collabs with lgbt musicians)
Equality Florida (lgbt advocacy organization that lobbies against discriminatory laws and promotes legal changes that will benefit lgbt people, also played a big role in helping after the pulse orlando shooting)
OnePulse Foundation (nonprofit fund set up by the owner of the pulse nightclub to help rebuild, support victims, and build a memorial)
Lambda Legal (nonprofit legal advocacy organization that does impact litigation for lgbt people and people with HIV)
Pride at Work (represents lgbt workers and union members)
it’s also a good idea to look for lgbt orgs in your local area or state that likely sell their own pride merch like buttons and tshirts, since orgs at a local level are often the ones who need contributions the most and who will directly benefit your community the greatest
and if you are going to buy any corporate pride merch, still try to get it from companys that are donating 100% of the profits to lgbt orgs (some ones i know that do this are levi’s and converse) and make sure to check that the orgs they’re donating to are actually legit ones)
Additionally, if you’d like to support queer artists while purchasing your pride items, why not pop over to @vaspider ’s Etsy shop:
Pedophiles are not LGBT, no adult engaging in a sexual relationship with a minor gets to call themselves LGBT and if you think they do fucking block me and throw yourself into the sun
TERF rhetoric is toxic and stupid and no one needs your transphobic ass any time of the year, much less the time of year when trans people should be taking pride in their identities (which is also year round)
It is not, under any circumstances, okay to “out” someone. I don’t care if you think your intentions are good. this can destroy someone’s life. A young person could end up homeless. Or dead.
POC belong at PRIDE just as much as everyone else (we would not have this without black trans women, show some respect)
You don’t know if the “apparently straight” couple who you see at PRIDE is composed of two straight people – one could be bisexual, one could be asexual, both could be, I mean, like, don’t be that person
Or they could be there to support someone who might’ve otherwise been alone, like, just, don’t be that person who polices sexualities and shit okay
Bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality all exist and deserve to be respected
seriously it’s completely possible to be attracted to two or more genders or be attracted regardless of gender and our identities don’t hurt anyone
Just because you are LGBTQIA+ doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of being an asshole, and if you use “I’m gay!” as an excuse you need to grow up (this applies year round)
Asexuals and aromantics belong at PRIDE just as much as any other LGBTQIA+ individual, I really don’t care how many letters are in the “alphabet soup”, you have a valid identity
polyamory is when three or more people engage in a consensual relationship, not when one person is with someone else behind their partner’s back
polyamory is not superior to monogamy or vice versa
buying PRIDE gear for your sexuality/gender doesn’t mean you’re selling out or giving into capitalism, if it makes you happy do it and don’t let people shame you for it
and honestly like isn’t it good for it to be normalized? I am all for Target having a PRIDE section, that’s amazing
Not everyone is okay with using the word or calling themselves “queer”, if they’re not okay with it don’t call them that
bisexuality is not transphobic and pansexuality is not biphobic
stay safe at PRIDE – don’t accept open drinks from strangers, ever, no matter what, people can be awful anywhere you go, just stay safe
you don’t have to come out just because it’s PRIDE month, if it isn’t safe for you (i.e. you’ll be on the streets, homeless, etc) don’t pressure yourself
that’s all I have, I’m sure there’s probably more
I just want to add to the “You don’t know if the “apparently straight” couple who you see at PRIDE is composed of two straight people – one could be bisexual, one could be asexual, both could be” or… one or both of them could be heterosexual trans people.
Trans people belong to pride even if they are heterosexual and while being there is sign of wanting to participate this doesn’t mean that they are fine with being outed. Plus, it could be a straight trans person is there with their bi/pan partner of opposite gender and only the bi/pan partner is out of the closet while they didn’t disclose their trans status.
I know tumblr thinks all trans people is bi or SGA but a good percentage is heterosexual and may be completely cis-passing and in a relationship that looks “cishet” to external eyes.
wouldn’t it be cool if sylvia rivera or marsha p. johnson were still alive and you could see what kind of activism they were doing now, and support it, and follow them on social media?
“It sure would!”
Gosh, imaginary reader, I agree! And you know what?
MISS MAJOR IS *ALSO* A TRANS WOMAN OF COLOR WHO WAS AT STONEWALL, AND SHE’S STILL ALIVE AND AMAZING AND I ALMOST NEVER SEE ANYBODY MENTION HER
And yes, that’s her Instagram, @missmajor1. And yes, you can look her up on Facebook under Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, and she even follows back 😮
Looks like she’s even on Twitter, @immissmajor.
From missmajor.net:
“Miss Major is a veteran of the Stonewall Rebellion and a survivor of Attica State Prison, a former sex worker, an elder, and a community leader and human rights activist.
Miss Major’s personal story and activism for transgender civil rights intersects LGBT struggles for justice and equality from the 1960s to today. At the center of her activism is her fierce advocacy for her girls, trans women of color who have survived police brutality and incarceration in men’s jails and prisons.
Miss Major is formerly the long-time executive director of the San Francisco-based Transgender Gender-Variant Intersex Justice Project (TGIJP), which advocates for trans women of color in and outside of prison. She is also the subject of a new documentary feature film currently showing around the country, MAJOR!”
She even has a GoFundMe, where people make one-time or recurring monthly donations to support this activist legend through her retirement:
Overall, queer was approved of by 72.9% of respondents, with 37.2% of respondents specifying queer was their preferred umbrella term.
Queer is the most widely preferred umbrella term, and the 3rd most approved of umbrella term, behind LGBT+ and LGBTQ+.
Groups that do not prefer the use of queer as an umbrella are: straight respondents, exclusionst-identifying respondents, transmedicalists, truscum, sex-negative respondents, and sex work critical respondents.
Queer as an umbrella was preferred above other umbrella terms by all gender identities, and by all orientation groups other than straight.
I’m fascinated to see that exclusionists are BY FAR the most opposed to the term “queer.” And that the only group that comes close to their 17% approval of the term is truscum, at 27%.
Not that I’m surprised they don’t like it. I’m surprised at the immense gap between what they insist, and scream, over and over – that very few people have reclaimed queer, that we should all avoid using it, that older people hate it because it was used against us but younger people hate it because only older people briefly reclaimed it –
and the reality of it being overwhelmingly accepted, preferred, and used, outside of all but a few very insulated groups.
What tickles me the most about it is that the one group where the majority does agree with exclusionists’ view of “gueer” is THE STRAIGHTS!
Like this makes me think so much of the whole “terfs and conservatives agree on a lot of stuff” -thing. (There’s a whole game somewhere, with quotes from terfs and conservatives where you have to guess which one said it, and it is a real fucking hard game…)
Like maybe you aren’t really all that much on the side you think you are, if you actually have a lot in common with the side that wants to hurt the group you claim to support.
We are officially done arguing about the appropriateness and appropriate usage of “queer.”
This matches my experience very closely. I know one (1) adult-over-25-or-so LGBT person who specifically disprefers “queer”, and she actually agrees that it’s the best umbrella term, she just dislikes it personally. I have encountered dozens of angry teens who are aggressively hostile to various other parts of the community and use the “queer is a slur” thing to justify attacking their preferred targets.
Okay, I wasn’t going to do this, but it kept eating at me (and other people around me). So. Let it be known that I am a South African Bisexual cis female.
“Corrective rape was a term coined by South African lesbians! Thus this is a lesbian-only term!” is something that’s getting thrown around a lot by the Discourse Brigade.
The first time I saw this I burst into laughter. I mean, I am the victim of corrective rape and never have I ever been told by any of my lesbian sisters to not use this term. It never occurred to anyone I know that I would not be able to use this term, or that this is not what my sexual assault was.
It was yet another example of how silly people could be. Were people who had never spoken to a single LGBT+ South African really going to be this ignorant?
I never took it seriously for a second because, really? Surely nobody actually thought that South African Lesbians were gonna expect everyone to conform to some nebulously specific list of things to qualify to use the term “corrective rape”.
But hey, as an African you get used to people talking over you and thinking you ride to school on a lion. Whatever, you laugh and you move on.
But I couldn’t move on.
Because people kept telling other people that they were, I don’t know, spitting on people’s graves, for using this term “incorrectly”.
So let me tell you this right now: If your assault happened because you do not conform precisely to your society/culture’s cisheteronormative* values, congratulations! You get to use the term corrective rape. Compliments of your South African brethren.
End. Of. Fucking. Discussion.
Now- let me tell you why I couldn’t move on.
Because the assholes that are policing the use of this term are spitting on the graves of every single one of my fucking ancestors.
Allow me to explain.
South Africa is a really unique place. Did you know we have eleven (11) official languages? That’s not including the minority ethnic groups that call my country home.
Now, when you realise that you have nine (9) traditionally black South African cultures, two (2) white cultures, the Chinese people, the Indian people, Other Africans… You may begin to figure out we’re really fucking diverse.
And we’re pretty proud of that diversity. Post Apartheid.
Apartheid was a system built- at its core- on ‘us’ vs ‘them’. It wasn’t inclusive. It separated people. It put some people in positions of power over others. It redefined the term ‘gatekeeping’ (in my opinion).
It was really fucking nasty.
It killed a lot of people.
And then Nelson Mandela came along. You know the story- he was imprisoned and instead of hating everyone he taught love and inclusion (after Winnie Mandela got him freed whilst running the Struggle- go read up on her. She’s a true feminist icon).
He is the father of our nation. And he taught us that hatred and bigotry and exclusion are never ever the way to go.
Afrikaans is still an official language. Part of the old Afrikaans anthem is still included in our official anthem.
We are taught that this is our country’s way forward.
We’re the Rainbow Nation!
LGBT+ people were granted every single right American LGBT+ people are still fighting for in our constitution in 1994.
But unfortunately, this lead to a huge homophobic backlash.
Thus- corrective rapes started happening all across the country.
But! The assholes who rape people? They don’t ask whether you’re lesbian or gay. They don’t check your credentials.
They can rape the girl who’s a little too ‘butch’ for their tastes, or the boy who might not play football (soccer for the Americans).
They do not care if you are a card carrying member of the LGBT+! They care only for the fact that you don’t look masculine/feminine enough. That you might have been staring at a boy/girl. That you said no earlier. Maybe you have a LGBT+ friend, so obviously you’re the same. Or hell, maybe your parents know you’re LGBT+ and they pay someone to rape it out of you. Maybe your arranged husband does it on your wedding night.
They do not care how you do not conform to societal standards- only that you do not.
And in South Africa we know this.
We know that no one’s rape is exactly the same as anyone else’s. Because it could never be exactly the same.
So yeah, here a completely straight white girl could use the term “corrective rape” and no one, no one, would bat an eyelash. Because she was correctively raped.
Because we know that united we stand, but divided we fall. And we have fallen so very very far in our past.
So no.
You do not get to fucking gatekeep this term which my brothers and sisters and I in this struggle have shed our blood and tears in.
You do not get to exclude people in our name.
Not when we freely gave this term to the world to use as and if needed.
Kindly respect us and our culture enough to not spit directly into our and our forefathers faces.
*I’m so sorry Trans Tumblr. I couldn’t find another word that really worked here.
** Yes, I have spoken to my fellow LGBT+ brethren. This is a PSA from the majority of us. If only because I cannot speak for all South Africans. Some of us are assholes too.
*** I know the UN wants to rename it “homophobic rape” but we will never us this term since it throws our Trans/NB/intersex/Bi/Ace/Aro/Agender/Questioning/Ally siblings under the bus. It frankly goes against what we invented it for. You, however, are welcome to coin the term yourselves.
since pride month is coming up, that also means we’re getting closer to the month when there’ll be 10000 posts reminding us that all the gay pride merch is just a corporate cash-in, that these corporations don’t care about us, that the world isn’t really any better, that none of the pride merch and ads actually mean anything, that it isn’t really progressive, blah blah blah
let me just say
i know. most people on here know. you are not the sole thinking person in a world of sheep. i promise you that the person you’re making all these points to has heard it 100 times 100 ways from 100 other people. we know, tumblr. we know.
but dammit, one month a year i get rainbow everything, and that’s a breath of fresh air after eleven months of straight nonsense. i LOVE seeing pride everywhere, even if it is just a corporate cash-grab. and it’s not like i can just opt out of this capitalist society, so fuck it, imma buy all the rainbow, pride-themed, gay merch i can get my hands on.
the world is a capitalist hellhole and there is no escape, so we may as well have what fun we can with it while we try and make things better.
happy pride, folks.
And hey, you know what you can do if you want merch that doesn’t just feed the corporate wallet? Go on Etsy, Storenvy, Society6, or just about a bazillion other websites where independent artists sell their products,and support your queer/LGBT+ artists! Directly! Hand them cold hard cash, there’s no better direct action than that, my dudes!
Do both! I really, truly believe that people protesting corporate pride merch, (unless they are protesting art stealing which of course they are right about. Stealing art is 100% not ok), are missing the point by a mile. It used to be that you could only find pride merch in small specialty stores that were owned and or frequented by the queer* community. The fact that enough people are safe enough to be coming out as who they are AND as allies, that multiple large corporations know they can make money off it is HUGE. People used to hold protests and try to get companies shut down for even hinting at being ok with the community. So honestly? Take my money. It has become overall unpopular to voice antigay opinions and I really think some of the bigots are going stealth and infiltrating online communities to try to turn us against one another (ace/aro exclusion; bi/pan exclusion; trans exclusion). Buy pride stuff. When possibly buy it from local artists who need to make a living, but mostly, please display pride merch so that the world can see that despite this evil administration, we are still here, queer, (or your preferred term), and fabulous.
(*queer is my identity. If it isn’t yours insert your own term/alphabet soup here. It isn’t a slur any more than all the other words for us. If you don’t like it, don’t use it, but don’t freakin’ flame me over it.)
People who say bi erasure doesn’t happen need to realize Freddie Mercury is known as the most famous homosexual man when he identified himself as bisexual. If that’s not bi erasure I don’t even know.
Also PoC erasure, most people don’t know he was 100% Indian
Specifically he was Parsi. Also raised Zeroastrian.
TW: oldschool transphobia
The thing about “don’t use x term for x group” is this discussion really only exists online. Offline, there are many predominantly older people who identify in extremely individual ways that they spent decades fighting to be, that now get told they can’t
I know trans men that call themselves lesbians for so many reasons – maybe they never go on T or get any surgeries because its an intrinsic part of their identity and who they are to have the body they do – it bears scars of being in punchups with skinheads and police violence.
They never had the freedom to choose which identity they were – they were dykes for decades before we were born, and they’ve led the Pride parade with Dykes On Bikes and let countless queer women find safe haven in their home and cared for so many gay men as they died in the 80s.
They weren’t able to call themselves transgender. The language didn’t exist. The internet didn’t exist – I can’t stress how small each of our worlds was back then, how the flow of information was so slow and sterile. The idea of BEING transgender/queer DID NOT EXIST for so many.
You’ll see many older trans people that identify as ‘crossdressers’ or have zero intention of medical transition. They’re too old for surgery or too poor or discovered they were trans yesterday. They have ZERO idea wtf a truscum is, they have never heard the term transtrender.
Some get 2 hours a week that they get to wear the clothes they want to, then its back to being an elderly person with a homophobic/transphobic manager and family. Some get fired anyway for misunderstanding who can see what on FB – and older people don’t get employed again easily.
If a trans guy said they were a guy to a medical professional back then, they got put in an insane asylum. I know a guy this happened to. He’s not even that old. Once the asylum was shut down – the only escape – he accessed T by trading E with trans women in the same situation.
He is poor as shit, and he has dedicated his life and money to helping young trans men that come to the support groups he runs and tell him “You’re not allowed to say FtM anymore” and he has that term tattooed in his flesh as a medal of “fuck you” to society.
I know elderly trans women who are the epitome of grace and fire, for whom the term “transexual” was freedom from a cage. They, when given space, patiently point out to me that they are trans-sexual, not trans-gender, as they have always been the gender they are – woman.
Please educate and inform cis people of what the current expectations of them are in the current time in terms of terminology and thought. But you cannot then look back over your shoulder and say “oh and all the trans people that came before me – change your offensive identity”
The online community young trans people have access to is literally life saving, I know from experience. But I implore you to go to your local trans support group, and listen. Don’t interrupt someone – they know their identity better than you. See, and hear, and think.
You will learn so much. You will find things that sit uncomfortably with you, and these are amazing opportunities to confront your internalised transphobia. You may find people you feel might not represent The Community how you want to be represented- what a great time to reflect
on the importance of making space for every nuance and facet of our community, and consider ways that you may not have realised of being more inclusive of everyone. You may see people that might come across as ‘shameful’ to you – and hearing their story, you may come to
understand that the only way they are alive today is by doing whatever it took to survive, however ugly. You may come to the realisation that literally every trans-aware medical professional was taught from the ground up by these elders, who had to literally beg for treatment.
And, hopefully, you will come to find deep and meaningful connection and kinship with people older, wiser, sillier and stronger than us.
Please don’t tell them what they are.
While you’re here, I wrote a similar thread delving into the mental health stats of transmasculine folk and why they stand out from other LGBTIQ identities. This may help you frame older trans masc people in a new light.
TW: everything around depression+++
Adding here – if you feel like an older person is offending you with their outdated language, assume they’ve never heard of twitter or any conversations we have here, and say something like “have you heard why some people don’t use x anymore?”
They’re usually excited to learn.
(If a t*rf shows up, consider not engaging – we have such a wholesome discussion happening here and you deserve better than spending time and energy on someone who won’t listen ♥)
❤️shoutout to gay people who used to think they were bi
💛shoutout to bi people who used to think they were gay
💚sexuality is complicated, there’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure yourself out
💙you aren’t “adhering to stereotypes” or anything like that.
💜there is nothing wrong with your identity!
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 