Tag: THIS

Not the same anon that asked about beating a guy up, but that that was a great answer. But what do you actually do to show people that you’re dominant then? How does anyone know? How do you prove it?

lovemysub:

Anon:

If you feel compelled to prove to people that you’re dominant, chances are you’re not dominant.

The little dogs are the ones who always bark the most, right?

I don’t go out of my way to show anyone that I’m dominant. Literally ever. @belovedsangi and @danipup don’t kneel because they are afraid of me or intimidated by me. They don’t kneel because I have made them feel like they had to kneel.

They kneel because they trust me. They kneel because they believe that I have the personal strength to lead, to keep them accountable, to help them grow and thrive and be the best versions of themselves. And they believe that because I’ve given them every reason to believe that. Simple as that, really.

And as far as people who aren’t Dani or Sangi go, I don’t really concern myself with proving anything to them. I don’t care if they see me as “dominant” or not. I’m not a big, loud, “notice me” guy, but I do have absolute, firm belief in myself. And I think it’s precisely that, the quiet confidence, that registers with people about me.

The more you worry about “proving” your dominance, anon, the more you’ll come across to people as a chihuahua yapping at ankles. Don’t be a chihuahua.

-LMS

littlebrotherjack:

bahtmun:

Have any of your friendships ever ended because you were always the first one to talk to someone and one day you stopped to see if they would talk to you first and they never did so you just stopped talking to each other?

Hey so I see this post a lot on my dash, and so I’m gonna take this moment to say something about it. When you are always the one initiating contact or hangouts with your friends, then it sets up a certain expected dynamic between the two of you. And so when you stop contacting them, they may be so used to you being the one who reaches out that when you don’t, they’ll assume it’s just because you’re busy. Or because you no longer want to hang out with /them/. So instead of just cutting off contact, talk to your friends. Let them know that you feel like you’re the one always making plans. You’ll be surprised at the number of them willing to make a change to help you feel more appreciated and loved. People can’t read minds. If you don’t tell them what you need or how you feel, then they’ll never know.

aggressivelybicaptainamerica:

young-mrs-robinson:

fucking-fantrolls-everywhere:

yifftrolls:

healthy polyamorous: 3 people all in a happy relationship o/

unhealthy polyamorous: joe loves becky and jim. becky is not comfortable sharing joe with jim, but stays quiet anyway.

not a polyamorous: joe has 4 girlfriends. shhhh. they dont know.

THIS

This is important.

Healthy poly can also look like this: Zee is dating Buck. Zee is also dating Jade. Jade and Buck are friends and know Zee is dating both of them, but Buck and Jade are not romantically involved.

aridara:

concentrated-sunshine:

You mean apart from all the people trained and certified to have them, right?

Irrelevant. The issue is, these politiciams believe that, if you’re allowed to have a gun with you in public, you should be able to have a gunwith you anywhere.

But in Maralago and at the WH, only the selected guards and people can carry guns. If you’ve been invited, you aren’t allowed to bring your gun with you, even if you have the permit to carry a gun in public.

aprillikesthings:

tomthefanboy:

darkxchina:

rubyvroom:

The thing is nobody teaches girls how to pick up girls. It seems like just about the entirety of culture is dedicated to helping men strategize how to get women. From an early age boys are learning how to get a girl’s number and how to ask her out and etc etc etc but who teaches girls this? Where do we learn? Girls learn how to be asked out, how to entice, how to invite attention, but not how to instigate. We aren’t taught and we don’t teach each other. If a girl likes girls she’s gotta figure it out for herself, if she’s not lucky enough to be in a community where there are clear signifiers of interest and older wlw who will show them the ropes. How often do you suppose there are gay girls who are sitting there aching to hook up with each other but neither of them is making the first move? They don’t know the moves? They can’t tell if their interest is welcome and how to find out? Maybe they go to lgbt spaces and hope like hell for someone to approach them because how the hell do you hit on a girl? People just do that?? HOW?? And they go home alone again and again. Meanwhile men will do all the approaching and introducing and making things happen and it’s just EASIER. It just is. And anyway this is why I feel like a lot of bisexual women end up with men long-term.  

SERIOUSLY

This reminds me of two people who knew aikido
were asked to a demonstration without knowing the other one knew aikido. Just circling each other and waiting for the other one to make a move.

For real, this was a huge part of it for me. 

Men: everywhere, likely to approach you first, easy

Women: you gotta go special places or use apps to find other women who are into women, and then you don’t know what to do when you get there

magicmusicmann:

eliciaforever:

“Not all conservative Christians are like that.”

Okay look.

If you’re a senior in high school, and your freshman little sister comes up to you with bloody scraped knees and tears all over her face crying, “I hate seniors! They always bully me!” you don’t stand there and lecture her on why she shouldn’t label all seniors as bullies.

You don’t fucking do that shit.

You say, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure those seniors don’t pick on you.“

You take responsibility for protecting her.

Because she’s your little sister. And she can’t fight bullies on her own.

That’s how privilege fucking works. Women, gay people, black people, trans people, Muslims, atheists, every single minority in the United States—they’re the little sisters getting beat up by your fellow upperclassmen. You don’t make it their responsibility. YOU TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF TO HELP THEM.

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