the-argumentative-viper:

starfoozle:

executeness:

glumshoe:

queenofthefae:

glumshoe:

Clarification: is there a set, standard amount of time, such as “one second”, that a “measure” of music lasts…? I understand that “4/4 time” means “four beats per measure”, but unless the length of time a “measure” lasts is consistent between songs, how does that make sense?

absolutely not; timing in music is not dependent on measure length, but instead based entirely on tempo. there ARE certain time signatures that are typically faster, such as 6/8, but there is no true standard and even 6/8 can be slower than 4/4, depending on the tempo. hope that helps!

who is responsible for this

Larghissimo — very, very slow (20 bpm and below) Translation*: plenty of time to get distracted between measures. Or notes.

Grave — slow and solemn (20–40 bpm) Translation: just serious enough for nervous laughter during rests. Avoid eye contact with anyone.

Lento — slowly (40–60 bpm) Translation: it is actually possible to fall asleep while playing an instrument, to the confusion and horror of your teacher.

Largo — broadly (40–60 bpm) Translation: dramatic grand gestures while sober. Think sweeping.

Larghetto — rather broadly (60–66 bpm) Translation: dramatic grand gestures while drunk. Slightly more manic or erratic

Adagio — slow and stately (literally, “at ease”) (66–76 bpm) Translation: Julie Andrews, Queen of Genovia, is entering the room. Plenty of time to focus on hitting the right notes b/c u cannot fuck this up.

Adagietto — rather slow (70–80 bpm) Translation: the high school graduating class of 2018 is entering the room. 40% elated 70% bored. Mostly restrained by the staff, still want this over with.

Andante moderato — a bit slower than andante. Translation: a steady meander in the woods. Fast enough to be interesting, slow enough to savor.

Andante — at a walking pace (76–108 bpm) Translation: CPR speed! Do you have Stayin Alive or Another One Bites the Dust in your head? Either way good luck remembering your melody now.

Andantino – slightly faster than andante. Translation: Just saw someone you do NOT want to talk to but you don’t want to draw attention. Always feels slightly forced. That’s fine.

Moderato — moderately (108–120 bpm) Translation: Marching is the tenuous balance between comfortable speed for walking and comfortable speed for music. Much easier when not in a parade.

Allegretto — moderately fast (but less so than allegro). Translation: the piece is probably in moderato but you’re having fun! You totally got this! Everything’s a bit fast but you’re still hitting all the notes! Go you!

Allegro moderato — moderately quick (112–124 bpm) Translation: Approximately dancing speed, depending on your confidence and the degree to which you know where all your limbs are at any given time. Jam a little in your seat. It’s okay.

Allegro — fast, quickly and bright (120–168 bpm). Playful, for flirting without words. Wink as needed without losing your place.

Vivace — lively and fast (≈140 bpm) (quicker than allegro) Translation: That was probably too much coffee but it’s FINE. It’s probably not physically possible for your heart to beat out of your chest.

Vivacissimo — very fast and lively. Translation: Either you’re showing off or the composer wanted you to suffer. Probably the former.

Allegrissimo — very fast. Translation: You’re not one of those aerobic respirators are you? You can breathe when we finish this piece. Hold on for the ride.

Presto — very fast (168–200 bpm) Translation: use popcorn popping as your metronome. Doesn’t actually have a regular beat but at this speed neither do you.

Prestissimo — extremely fast (more than 200bpm) Translation: you don’t know what’s happening and neither does your conductor if you have one. Reeds are splitting, strings are snapping, wind instruments can’t feel their tongues. Flail your fingers and prey.*.

(http://www.classicalmusiccity.com/search/article.php?vars=446/Basic-Tempo-Markings.html)

*I haven’t touched my flute in four years

**Yes I meant prey I’m a godless carnivore

#is this the schmidt pain index of tempo #did you personally allow different tempos to bite you

Yes. Prestissimo stings like a motherfucker.

violin concertos through the eras

classical-crap:

baroque era: oh yes…sixteenth notes…third position…some vibrato…sequences…yes…

classical era: hey look the violin is pretty neat and it can play some hella high notes sometimes. look at that mozart dude go

romantic era: I just have so many FEELINGS and so much TECHNICAL ABILITY and I can only express my FEEELINGS with excessive octaves and tenths

modern era: we are upset and we will take it out on this screechy scratch instrument

tinker-tanner:

whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating:

edvardgrieg-official:

neurophonic:

weloveshortvideos:

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

respectabledeviant:

accio-rebels:

lone-star-multiple-moons:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

not-so-tall-gay-danny:

oneshortdamnfuse:

panacea-for-the-absent-soul:

ridersofdickhan:

mister-boss:

dannydevito-senpai:

dothepropaganda:

dothepropaganda:

punk isn’t just skinny. punk isn’t just perfect mohawks or aesthetically pleasing jackets. punk isn’t only listening to dead kennedys or black flag. punk is being an individual, having no respect for our fascist authority, sticking up for the little guy even if you are the little guy. punk isn’t just a look or a music scene.

i literally made this because nazis and the alt right can’t be punk

Stop bringing politics into music genres lmao

stop bringing politics…….. into punk????

Here’s Green Day, one of the most popular and well known punk bands.

Wait, but there’s MORE!

Wait, in case you weren’t convinced that the punk scene is political and is all about standing up against fascism and bullshit and racism that America is facing:

shut up. Punk is not just a fucking music genre.

Ok I’m reblogging this again bc when I went to see green day, before they properly started playing they made us make a pledge, at the gig there is to be ‘No racism, no sexism, no homophobia, no donald trump’

Punk has been political long before Green Day existed. The political history of the Punk scene(s) cannot be divorced from the music scene(s) that arose out of them. It is not just about music. It is not just about fashion. The stylistic choices made have meaning and are situated in a social/political context. 

That being said, it’s really important to acknowledge that Neo-Nazis didn’t infiltrate the Punk subculture for no reason. Absolutely, make it clear that Neo-Nazis are not welcome in The Punk Scene. However, part of doing that means confronting how they got there.

Punk music isn’t all about one political stance, though it’s commonly anti-authoritarian. Anyone can utilize the genre to promote their own ideologies, even if a popular intention of the genre is to be anti-authoritarian. Green Day is just one of many bands who use Punk music to spread their ideology. 

It’s not just punk. Music has been used as a form of rebellion against oppression for a hell of a long time. Fuck, centuries even. The people who don’t get this have most likely never been oppressed in their life.

A few protest/”political” songs, and some about specific tragedies, from recent history, that aren’t just punk:

Zombie, The Cranberries

I Know A Place, MUNA

99 Luftballons, Nena

Beds Are Burning, Midnight Oil

Khe Sahn, Cold Chisel

I Was Only Nineteen, Redgum

The Greatest, Sia

Fuck Tha Police , N.W.A

Eve of Destruction, Barry McGuire

We Are The World, USA for Africa

Say It Loud (I’m Black and I’m Proud), James Brown

Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell (or more recently, Counting Crows)

Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen

Know Your Rights, The Clash

Holiday in Cambodia, Dead Kennedys

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, Gil Scott Heron

We’ve been doing this shit forever, it’s not new. War, racism, fascism, homophobia… if it’s harmed people, it’s been put into music. It’s an incredibly powerful medium that has changed the world before, and to say that politics, hatred, and tragedy shouldn’t be featured is, honestly, simply ignorant.

I cannot deal with the sheer level of numbskull-ery in a statement like “Don’t bring politics into music” as if this is some Silly Tumblr Fad and not something that’s been a thing for over a hundred years

bard is a combat class

bard is a combat class

governments will go as far as censoring lyrics and denying artists their visas to suppress the messages of songs. If politics can “meddle” with music, then music surely has the ability to do the same

aegipan-omnicorn:

travelingworkshop:

arsfatalis:

l0iso:

overloadextravaganza:

johnnygreyart:

damaskrosechicago:

churakaagii:

scarlettohairdye:

infinite-magical-recipes:

shredsandpatches:

junkybowels:

plaidadder:

argonauticae:

argonauticae:

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

scottish trad music genres:

  • Everyone I Love Is Dead
  • The English Have Stolen All My Sheep
  • You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three
  • The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep
  • I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]
  • The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English
  • One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome
  • The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep

We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow

oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!

genres include:

  • I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug
  • The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed
  • You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)
  • Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)
  • The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground
  • We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 
  • The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 
  • When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left
  • The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow

Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

  • I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)
  • I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant
  • I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It
  • I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis
  • Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise
  • Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome
  • The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)
  • Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor
  • Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol

behold mongolian folk music genres

  • I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia
  • We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)
  • Witness My Many Ungulates
  • (While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant
  • On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)
  • Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates
  • I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes
  • Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)
  • You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse

THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.

now with more okinawan!

  • We Must Plant the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk! 

  • We Must Harvest the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk!

  • There’s No Crops Right Now, Let’s Get Drunk!

  • Sex On the Beach Is Awesome, War Is Bad
  • There Are Ghosts in the Trees
  • The Japanese Exploit Us (And the Americans Do Too)
  • I Love the Sea, This Island Is Beautiful, War Is Still Bad
  • Hey, There’s an Old Man, Let’s Get Drunk!
  • Respect Your Parents Or You Will Be Lost at Sea Forever

As the daughter of a folksinger and spouse of a folklorist, I love this SO MUCH.  Here’s some from the sub-sub-genre of French folk songs of the Midwest…

  • I Am A Brawny-Armed Lumberjack Who Loves a Town Girl, Oh No!
  • Oh Fuck, I Slept With a Fur Trapper, What Shall I Tell Maman?
  • Hauling Logs, Rolling Logs, Driving Logs, All Day, What Ho!
  • Like Hell You’re Marrying That Good for Nothing Bambocheur!
  • Fetch My Gold Ring That Fell Into the Sea!  Now!
  • I Met A Sailor While A-Strolling, And Now We Are In Love!
  • I Want to Kiss the Sailor I Met A-Strolling, But I’m Afraid My Father Will Find Out!
  • Oh Fuck, I Kissed the Sailor I Met A-Strolling And Now We Are Doomed!

Some Italian Folk Music Genres

A Spider Has Bitten Me And If I Do Not Dance I Will Die, Alas

I Am A Very Fancy Man With A Very Fancy Hat

The Cable Car Is A Thinly-Veiled Metaphor For Your Feminine Torture, O Woman

Rome Is The Very Best Place And Every Other Place Is Just Awful

I Love You, But You Are Married

I Love You, But You Are Fickle (Why Did You Dance With The Baker’s Son, Thou Vixen?)

I Love You, But You Left Me All Alone On This Romantic Wind-Swept Hillside, Which Is Actually Very Pretty, But Not As Pretty As You, Foul Temptress

Rome Is Still The Best Place And Every Other Place Can Go Right To Hell

Seriously Once You Have Been To Rome You Will Just Be Sick At The Thought Of Being Anywhere Else, You Will Pine Away And Die

I Love You, But You Are Dead (Or Maybe You Just Went To Live In A Slightly Prettier Place)

Rome, Rome, O Rome, Ah Rome, Rome Rome Rome, Have I Mentioned That I Love Rome?

Venetian Special Genres:

Women Are Like The Ocean: Salty And Full Of Drowned Sailors

Women Are Like The Ocean: I Cannot Figure Them Out At All

I Saw You One Time At A Party And I Have Designs Upon Your Feminine Virtue

I Love You, But You Are Married To The Ocean (For Some Reason)

I thought I would add some Dutch ones, because I saw no one had added any:
– That Girl Is A Prostitute (But At Least She Goes To Church)

– That Incompetent Sailor Is Actually A Girl, But She Will Have Sex With You If You Don’t Kick Her Off The Boat

– Someone Of Any Occupation Is Doing Something, But Unfortunately They Are Now Dead

– Fuck You Spain (Haha, We Sunk Your Boat And Stole Your Silver)

– Fuck You England

– We Might Be Small, But We Will Fight You

– Life Isn’t So Bad, If You Just Go Outside

– Fuck You Winter

– Look At That Guy (Wild Racism)

– We Like Going To Other Countries (More Wild Racism)

– Drinking Is Fun

– Drinking Makes Me Long For Sea

– God Is My Dad

– My Province Is Great And Full Of Nature

Some nice Russian folk songs:

  • There Was A War And Everyone is Dead, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird
  • There is Going to Be a War And Everyone Will Die, There’s Also a Sybmolic Bird
  • The Dyeing Is Happening Right Now, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird
  • I Had a Dream About Us Dying (No Birds Involved)
  • Alas You Are Dead 
  • I’m a Bird, I Drink Vodka
  • Fuck It’s Cold
  • Frost Do Not Freeze Me Do Not Freeze My Horse Do Not Freeze My Wife Please I Have Children

And my personal favourite:

  • Ayy Lmao This Guys Head Just Got Shot Off, We Are Going to Die Hahaha

I just couldn’t miss an opportunity to provide you a comprehensive summary of Ukrainian folk music genres.

~ I Married To A Man And Moved Far From My Home But I Want Fucking Back On My Fucking Land To My Parents And A Guy Whom I Actually Planned To Marry Before My Society’s Patriarchal Structure Destroyed My Life

~ A Guy Whom I Loved Loved Me And Also A Some Other Bitch So I Poisoned Him So That Nobody Gets Him

~ This Is My Land And I Love It Very Much, Period

~ I Made A Traditional Kupala Wreath And Released It On Water To Find My Love, No Sexual Hits Involved

~ I Have A Veeery Deeeeep Well In My Garden, And Also A Veeery Curly-Wurly Cabbage, And Also A Veeery Sweeeet Carrot Growing There, Come On Guys Check It Out, Oh, And There Are Totally No Sexual Hints

~ Graphic Descriptions Of Lesbian Sex

~ Everybody Is Dead After A Battle But There Is One Particular Cossack Whom I Am Especially Obligated To Mourn About Because He Is A Representative Of Our Entire Nation’s Young People

~ The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries

The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries And It’s Compared To Some Sad Shit Happening In Nature

~ Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine Hahaha Yay!

~Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine And Involve Some Couple Who Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries

Adding these well-known Cajun hits

~ I have a boat and have procured many crawfish do you love me?

~ I sure do love crawfish, boats, the bayou, and also dancing

~ My girlfriend can cook, and is therefore superior your girlfriend, who cannot

~ my girlfriend cannot cook and is therefore inferior to all other girlfriends

~ I saw you over a pile of crawfish and knew I was in love (on the bayou)

~ a list of regional dishes set to the tune of kitchen utensils

Reblogging for the International additions.