current goal: make it through the week
long term goal: make it through all the weeks
psa: sometimes the goal can be make it through this day or shorter if needed.
Tag: mental health
stop insulting yourself. it doesn’t help.
But what if it’s true
it still doesn’t help. you can call yourself as many names as you want, but it won’t make you a better, happier, healthier or kinder person.
punishment doesn’t work. only positive reinforcement does. be kind to yourself and get better.
#but like#what should i do instead??#i know i shouldnt insult myself but also theres nothing to compliment imho#thats my predicament
try speaking neutrally about yourself!
“you fucking idi- it’s not that big a mistake.”
“you’re worthle- it’s okay.”
“you’ll never amount to- well, i’m doing alright, i guess.”
ever heard the phrase “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? that applies not to just to others but to yourself as well. it’s better to think neutrally or not at all than negatively. and once you’ve got into the habit of that, it’s much easier to move to uplifting yourself!
this is EXTREMELY hard to do when you hate yourself.
Cause it’s like, there’s these two separate people in my head and one of then hates the other SOMUCH that given the chance, it would kill the other, literally murder it
but it can’t
so it just HAS to say as many bad things as it can cause it’s the only outlet
I see where you’re coming from, but it is extremely hard.
Of course it’s hard.
If it was easy we wouldn’t need to do it.
If it was easy we wouldn’t be giving people tips on how to do it.
If it was easy we wouldn’t be struggling with the monsters in our minds, day in and day out.
Why wouldn’t it be hard?
That’s WHY we have to try. That’s WHY we have to keep fighting. That’s WHY you keep pushing and working with it. Because if you do, it gets a little easier. If you do, you path the way for your future self, if you do, you start to see why we have to do it.
Of course it’s hard.
Do you know how long I’ve hated myself? Do you know how hard it was to start doing this? Do you know how hard it was to put down the knife and the pills and pick up the phone, pick up my soul, three separate times in six years? Do you know how many more times I had to lock myself away to try and fight off the demons and the monsters?
Of course it’s fucking hard. But that’s not a reason to give up. That’s the reason to keep fighting.
If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t be ill.
If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t be tired.
If it wasn’t hard, we’d all do it.
But hard isn’t an excuse. It isn’t a reason.
It’s why we have to try.
I hated myself for twenty fucking years. I am finally starting to like myself. I’m finally starting to be able to pick up myself and go “no, this isn’t a big deal, I can keep going.”
So of course I see where you’re coming from – you’re coming from where I was, two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, five, six, seven, eight years ago.
And that’s why I reblogged this. That’s why I believe in this. Because honestly? No matter how much that little voice says “you’re worthless”, you can keep saying “i’m all right, i guess.” and eventually, that starts to work. And it can take months, it can take years, but fucking hell it works. Because you find these teeny tiny reasons to live, to find worth, to enjoy yourself.
You find reasons to breathe and reasons to get the rest of the help you need.
Of course it’s hard.
If it was easy, it wouldn’t be calling “battling mental illness”, after all.
What helps me is to reword it.
“I’m so lazy, fuck, why didn’t I study? Stupid!”
Instead, just say what happened: “The test went poorly”. Try not to even include “I”.
“Ugh I’m so gross, I have no clean clothing because I’m a fucking gross, lazy loser.”
This becomes “the laundry isn’t done”.
They’re just statements, with no inherent good or bad connotations. And you’re not included either.
Doctors are ‘failing to spot Asperger’s in girls’
Expert says many more girls have autism than was thought, and failure to diagnose them can lead to misery
So, basically, what this article is saying is they discovered the way that boys present with autism, went “well that covers 100% of the population surely!” and then didn’t bother figuring out how autism presents in girls.
Girls slip through the diagnostic net, said Attwood, because they are so good at camouflaging or masking their symptoms. “Boys tend to externalise their problems, while girls learn that, if they’re good, their differences will not be noticed,” he said. “Boys go into attack mode when frustrated, while girls suffer in silence and become passive-aggressive. Girls learn to appease and apologise. They learn to observe people from a distance and imitate them. It is only if you look closely and ask the right questions, you see the terror in their eyes and see that their reactions are a learnt script.”
WOW.
Tony Attwood, founder of the first diagnostic and treatment clinic for children and adults with Asperger’s, and author of The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome, agreed with Gould’s estimation of a 2.5:1 ratio of boys to girls. “The bottom line is that we understand far too little about girls with ASDs because we diagnose autism based on a male conceptualisation of the condition. We need a complete paradigm shift,” he said.
WE FIGURED OUT HOW TO DIAGNOSE BOYS AND BECAUSE WE FIGURED THAT WOULD WORK FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE SO EXACTLY THE SAME (child psychology would DISAGREE WITH YOU IDIOTS) NOW WE’RE REAL SURPRISED THAT WE FUCKED UP.
This. This is a feminist issue. This is an issue like holy shit there are doctors out there who will deny a female patient who is referred to them because ‘lul girls don’t get austism’. They didn’t think to do any more research because, whatever right? We figured out how to solve the male side of the problem.
This is so wrong on so many levels.
I want to be surprised but I’m not because basically the exact same thing happened with ADHD.
@merindab happens with ADHD and with other conditions too apparently
Yup! Girls tend to be more often Innatentive type ADHD which means we space out and daydream, but don’t cause a fuss, so, we don’t get noticed.
Executive dysfunction life hack
Instead of telling yourself, “I should get up,” or “I should do this,”
Ask yourself, “When will I get up?” or “When will I be ready to do this?”
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things I did not actually realize was an option
Another thing that has been helpful for me personally has been, when my brain says, “I don’t want to do that thing right now,” I ask it, “Okay. Why not right now, specifically?”
Sometimes there’s a reason, and that’s cool, but sometimes my brain is like “…because?” And I am able to tell my brain it’s full of nonsense and we do the thing.
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 