ok but why does captain america have a fitness challenge and why is it still being shown in schools. he took experimental super steroids and is currently an international fugitive
If we’re all being honest with ourselves, a public school having an outdated educational video featuring a celebrity with dubious legal standing is the most accurate thing in any of the Marvel movies.
So, I have an American friend named Jane who married this English guy about 7 years ago. They live in Sussex together (god rest their souls), and they had a little boy pretty much right after they got married. As he grew up, they figured he would have a mix of their accents with a heavy lean towards English (because he’d go to school with English kids and teachers and the like.)
That’s not how it fucking worked out at all though. Instead, he says individual words with either an American or an English accent. Like, one second he’ll be like, “Daddy, I’m knackered” and the next he’ll be like, “AY YO MA WHERE YOU AT???” Every time they send me a video I just fucking piss myself listening to this kid.
I’m watching Doomsday Preppers. These people have an unbelievably bleak view of humanity, like, I’m just saying my family survived the complete disintegration of Lebanese civil society without shanking their neighbours for water or stockpiling hand grenades.
If your reaction to a foreseen future economic collapse is to set traps and stockpile guns to kill your neighbours who want some of your huge food stock, you are broken and I have no idea how to fix you.
^^^ The ability to cooperate with others is an evolutionary advantage
My husband and I used to think we were “preppers,” until we discovered that for most people, “prepping” means hoarding guns and ammo and bear traps and nonsense like that, and planning to turn on other survivors in the event of some society-destroying cataclysm. And here we were geeking out about woodworking and first aid and sustainable edibles foraging and water purification and subsistence farming and how best to set up an agrarian community to maximize square footage.
Turns out we’re just prepared solarpunks. I think I’m fine with that. Miss me with the toxic, gun-crazy, neighbor-hating Prepper culture and join me in my garden of native wild edibles.
I sometimes joke that if my friends with guns can keep my glorious fat self from being eaten by zombies or whatever apolaypse comes our way, I’ll be handy to have around. I can can things, sew clothes, make rope, do first aid, make candles, waterproof things with wax. Just please help me live through the initial chase sequences and we’re golden.
I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.
I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.
may our education be stronger than fake news
Amen.
To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.
another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup. that’s a higher number alright.
“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 