Over
the last two months my health has deteriorated rapidly. I went from
having severe migraines on a daily basis, to now having no strength in
my right side. I can’t bend my knee without considerable effort, and now
I can’t hold a pen, or even a fork. This is frightening enough,
considering my right hand is my dominant one, but the bigger issue is
that I still don’t have a diagnosis as to what is wrong. The
possibilities run from MS, to nerve damage, to even possibly a stroke.
Walking
is difficult for me. I drag my foot, and my ankle rolls often. My knee
buckles and I crash to the floor. This happened while I was in the
hospital, and now it’s happening multiple times a day.
I need to get
support braces for my joints, especially my knee and ankle. Wrist and
finger splints will help me be able to hold a pen to be able to draw
again, as well as feed myself without spilling. I may also need a cane
for particularly bad days.
Any additional funds will go toward
transporting me to and from my many MANY doctor’s appointments as we
look for a diagnosis for what is wrong.
If you submit
screenshots of your donation for $50.00 or more, I will write you a story
of your prompting, up to five thousand words!
This is an example of the support I’m looking for for my hand
Even if you aren’t able to support, I would appreciate it if you reblogged this to boost it and support a disabled queer NB.
I’m just 150 dollars off of my goal. Ring splints are all I need to get now. My knee brace has done wonders. I went for a walk with it on yesterday, and had no trouble at all. I keep my wrist braces in the fridge, which has confused my poor roommate.
As for what’s wrong, the opthalmologist I saw says it’s almost certainly MS. She also said that flare ups like this can last up to six months. Vision in my left eye is almost gone and it is likely the cause of my migraine spikes. I have another MRI booked for the end of the month, as well as seeing a neurologist again.
Over
the last two months my health has deteriorated rapidly. I went from
having severe migraines on a daily basis, to now having no strength in
my right side. I can’t bend my knee without considerable effort, and now
I can’t hold a pen, or even a fork. This is frightening enough,
considering my right hand is my dominant one, but the bigger issue is
that I still don’t have a diagnosis as to what is wrong. The
possibilities run from MS, to nerve damage, to even possibly a stroke.
Walking
is difficult for me. I drag my foot, and my ankle rolls often. My knee
buckles and I crash to the floor. This happened while I was in the
hospital, and now it’s happening multiple times a day.
I need to get
support braces for my joints, especially my knee and ankle. Wrist and
finger splints will help me be able to hold a pen to be able to draw
again, as well as feed myself without spilling. I may also need a cane
for particularly bad days.
Any additional funds will go toward
transporting me to and from my many MANY doctor’s appointments as we
look for a diagnosis for what is wrong.
If you submit
screenshots of your donation for $50.00 or more, I will write you a story
of your prompting, up to five thousand words!
This is an example of the support I’m looking for for my hand
Even if you aren’t able to support, I would appreciate it if you reblogged this to boost it and support a disabled queer NB.
I’ve raised my target goal because I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist in a few days to find out if there is an underlying cause to the vision loss and pain in my left eye. Odds are pretty good that I will need eyeglasses on top of everything else. If I don’t, I will close up the fundraiser.
JUST NOTICED LAST NIGHT THAT BUCKY WAS ALSO ON A DRIP IN THE ENTIRE CHAIR SCENE
I know it’s a fucked up scene, I do, but that to me just is nOPE. What the fuck are they putting into his system on top of the mind wiping and the physical abuse and the conditioning.
wait, what?
THE TUBE ON THE BACK OF HIS RIGHT HAND, IS THAT A DRIP?
Dr. Cyan calling in here, and yes, that is absolutely a peripheral IV cannula on his right hand. Watching the scene carefully you can see the IV stand on his right, with two infusion bags attached (sorry for the crappy images, maybe someone can grab a better screenshot if they have the DVD):
If you watch frame by frame, you can see that Bucky pops the connection tube off when he attacks the med tech; it dangles freely from the IV bag when the guards move to point their guns at him. In real life he’d probably have torn the cannula out of his hand entirely; it happens all the time with little old ladies in my ER so I was disappointed the directors didn’t draw on that particular body horror/’ouch’-factor here.
The infusion bags appear to be one 1,000 mL isotonic saline or D5W/D5NS (dextrose/glucose in a saline solution) for tissue rehydration, and one 500 mL isotonic saline, most likely a diluent for injectable/parenteral drug administration:
Which drug? Well, it could be any HYDRA concoction, but I’d put my money on the tried-and-true fallback of some benzodiazepine. BZDs/derivatives are anxiolytic (anxiety-reducing), hypnotic (sedative/sleep-inducing), anticonvulsant (good for when you’re electrocuting someone’s brain), amnestic (affecting memory), and myorelaxant (muscle-relaxing), a nice cocktail for working with the Winter Soldier – and hey! paradoxical BZD reactions include aggression and violence (such as attacking attending medical staff), and it may also cause anterograde amnesia as well as internalised feelings of turmoil, anxiety, depression, and loss of the ability to experience and/or express feelings. Plus, withdrawal can cause depression, depersonalisation, derealisation, hypersensitivity, psychosis, and suicidal ideation – sounds like a lot of Bucky-in-from-the-cold fanfics, am I right?
Seriously, writing this, I’m wondering where the withdrawal!Bucky fanfics are – the fics I’ve read all focus on his mental issues, but what about the physiological ones? I’d really like to read a fic about Bucky coming off whatever HYDRA pumped him full of – now that’d make for some neat hurt/comfort (and a lot of curling up on Steve’s bathroom floor shaking and puking his guts out).
(When I get my hands on a HD copy of the movie I’ll have a look at the rest of the medical setup in that scene. I’m especially interested in the screens behind the chair – maybe some more medical meta to be explored? Please send any screenshots my way if you have them!)
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 