ineffectualdemon:

stilesisbiles:

fuckyeahasexual:

Dear young/questioning aces; 

When other people, especially older people, try to ‘educate’ you about how ‘sexuality is complicated’ and how ‘you might not be ace’ and that ‘you’re probably confused’ and that ‘you’re probably [this] instead’,

You run.

Sexuality is indeed complicated, and yes, you might not be ace. But these kinds of people couldn’t care less either way.

Helpful people give you the freedom of choice – whether that choice lasts a lifetime, or until the next morning. Helpful people give you the agency to make your own decision about your own, personal, private identity.

If someone is trying to collectively discourage questioning aces into forgoing their ace identity? That’s not helpful. That’s an illusion of help under the guise of liberation. They’re trying to make you into something they want you to be.

Whether their advice is helpful or not, to any degree, this type of gaslighting and manipulation is not what you deserve. You can get the same kind of answers and help and support from people who aren’t damaging and toxic.

Find people who will let you be ace. Find people who will let you be yourself.

– Fae

^As someone who’s experienced something similar as a bi and trans person, this right here.

You deserve to be respected for who you are.

A supportive comment is “Hey if you find your identity changing it doesn’t mean you were previously a liar it just means you’re still learning about yourself and that’s okay!”

A suspect comment “you’re too young to know your identity. It’s probably going to change”

My gender identity and sexuality changed a LOT as I discovered words that described my experiences and grew to know myself

But then I know people who have known since they were like 5 what gender they had and that they fancied the same gender

No one other than you can know if your self perception changes and frankly the rest of the world should take the stance I take with my kid: whatever YOU tell me at this moment is who you are is what I will respect it and if you change your labels later I will just take in the updated information and respect it without adding any opinion because YOUR identity is not about me