long ago as a naïve 18 year old I could not understand anyone not being out in this day and age. I didn’t understand. Since then I’ve witnessed violence, I’ve been horrified by our country. And I have become poly, actively hiding my relationships aside from the visible married one, because of the exact fear of acceptance, fear of loss of support or job, etc that I initially didn’t understand. If I met my gf first, I guess my husband would be the unacknowledged one. Life is unexpected. Don’t judge each other too harshly. You don’t know what they are going through or why they are choosing not to come out.

no matter where you are on your journey, you are loved, you count

A Different Perspective on “Garridebs.”

plaidadder:

I was looking over the post-Return Sherlock Holmes stories, and finally put something together about the dates.

“The Three Garridebs” case begins in June of 1902. All signs indicate that Watson is still resident at 221B at this point. We all know how that case ends.

“Illustrious Client” begins on September 3, 1902, with the famous trip to the Turkish baths. At that point, Watson says, he was “living in my own rooms in Queen Anne street at the time.”

“Blanched Soldier” begins in January, 1903. Holmes is still in his consulting-room in London, but Watson doesn’t appear in this case and Holmes narrates. And he is BITTER: “The good Watson had at that time deserted me for a wife, the only selfish action which I can recall in our association. I was alone.”

“Creeping Man” is dated September, 1903. This is the one where Holmes sends Watson the famous “Come if convenient, if inconvenient come all the same” telegram, and Watson’s narration says that their relations were “peculiar” at that time. Watson is also manifestly annoyed at being summoned for a case about a dog. Turns out it’s a case about a man who is in love with a younger woman and wants to impress her by augmenting his sexual potency via monkey gland secretions.

Holmes’s retirement to the Sussex Downs happens sometime in 1904, since it is announced in the introduction to “Second Stain.”

“Lion’s Mane” is dated 1907 and is the only story set during Holmes’s retirement (he comes out of retirement for “His Last Bow”). He mentions that “my house is lonely” and that “at this period of my life, the good Watson had passed almost beyond my ken.”

OK. So, in my own headcanon, I always located the Declaration and Consummation pretty soon after “Empty House,” based on the fact that the Return stories indicate a new level of physical and emotional intimacy (plus in “Norwood Builder” Watson sells his practice and moves back into 221B. Really, you don’t do that for a roommate).

However, if you look at these dates, it occurs to me that another narrative–one which I in no way like as well–would go like this.

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revolutionarygays:

revolutionarygays:

revolutionarygays:

it kills me when ppl write articles about “straight” women wanting to hook up w women and they cite all of this scientific research about sexuality being “flexible” and talk about how “labels aren’t necessary” and the kinsey fucking scale without even once mentioning that maybe, just maybe, women want to date and marry men exclusively – despite being attracted to other women – because society has demonized, punished, and persecuted lesbian and bisexual women for centuries

this cosmopolitan article interviewed a handful of straight women who privately engage in sex with other women (without telling their boyfriend/husband, obviously) and these women just gushed about how much they love women and having sex w/ women but only wanted to date and marry men, and it’s like… i feel for these women, because they’re probably not even remotely straight, and they know deep down that dating and marrying men is socially acceptable which is why they cling to it despite many of the women openly reviling their boyfriend/husband – but at the same time, how much damage does this do to lesbian and bisexual women who are out? i mean, if these women are so comfortable with this setup, good for them – but these articles about “straight” women marketed to other straight women has got to push other potentially non-straight women back into the closet. in these articles these women deliberately distance themselves from lesbians and bisexual women and often do not want to hook up with women who identify as such, and also clarify that they do not want to sleep with butch or trans lesbians because they’re “too much like men”, which they find unattractive lmao

and it’s weird because the author seemed to imply that like, times were changing and etc etc and people are “more heteroflexible” now – as though that’s liberal and progressive and pro-gay – instead of realizing that a lot of these shifts are due to changes in the climate of the LGBT community and the strides forward we’ve made, and that articles essentially saying “you can love and fuck women and still be straight” can’t possibly be that progressive when out LGBT women are still being systematically oppressed, beaten, murdered, and mocked by society.

things are changing, sure, but they aren’t changing so fast you can pretend like introducing the concept of being “heteroflexible” or basically closeted for life like some Fun Hot Lifestyle to potentially questioning bi/lesbian women and call it progressive. it’s not. it’s still regressive and it’s some weird attempt by straight people to seem liberal and open-minded while still bending over backwards to not care about LGBT women – potentially closeted, closeted, or out – at all

and like, not to mention compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia – which are the root of many questioning women’s problems – are borne from the fact that society is inherently homophobic and that being a lesbian or bisexual woman is something straight and even questioning women subconsciously consider to be “inferior” or “weird”. being straight and having sex with women is cool and feminist, but actually “being” bisexual or a lesbian is weird. your family will be uncomfortable and awkward about it anyways and your friends will judge you and men will treat you really weirdly, so why even open that can of worms?

internalized homophobia causes closeted people to hate themselves and other bi & lesbian women while denying their identity, and externalized homophobia makes sure they’re too scared to question those norms

writing articles that essentially glorify being closeted because “straight” women say it’s cool isn’t helping either of these issues