Attention vagina bearers. These boxerjocks are better than a 50K fanfiction with all the right tags. Why? I’ll tell you why. You know those women’s boy shorts trying to pass themselves off as boxers, but end up bunching up under your clothes, visible as all hell, and somehow manage to wedge themselves firmly in the crack Mt. Doom more so than regular panties? If this is what women’s boy shorts are trying to be, I pity the fool who attempted–and failed–to replicate even a percentage of the comfort of effin’ Under Armour Boxerjocks.
They don’t move. They actually stay put. I’m not digging at my ass while I’m at work because walking around, bending down, *gasp* DOESN’T SHIFT THESE FUCKERS. They’re not cutting off my circulation, no. They’re light, soft, and BREATHABLE.
That’s right. Breathable. As soon as I put these on my Suzie Q was like:
Look. I’m the type that prefers full coverage. G-strings, thongs, tangas, and bikinis just don’t cut it for me. I’m constantly battling my underwear, pulling down the right side of my panties only to have my left butt cheek make a break for it and the tug of war continues until the last syllable of recorded time. Not to mention, my Pikachu feels like it’s been gagged and bound and frankly, I just want to live my best life, which shouldn’t include suffocating my panty hamster.
No visible panty line!
Literally Sir Budge-A-Nots. Slightly baggy in the crotch area (as expected), but it’s not noticeable visually (clothed) or tangibly.
Under Armour can be expensive. I have yet to experiment with other brands, but I wanted to share my findings. Go forth and treat your whisker biscuit to some (imo) proper underwear.
How are you getting there?: I’m driving my car. If anyone needs a ride to the grocery store or something, I have wheels!
Cosplays: I MAY bring my Wonder Woman costume, but I’m not sure.
Where to find me: Artist Alley (anotherwellkeptsecret) and Fifty Shades of A (All Ages) Panel
Drinks: I can’t have alcohol because I have Crohn’s Disease, but I’ll be more than happy to drink an un-alcoholic beverage with you. (You can have enough alcohol for the both of us if you’d like!)
Hugs: I love hugs!
Pictures: I love pictures!
Anything else?: I’m going to be spending a lot of time at my table. It can get kinda boring/lonely depending on the time of day so please stop by and say hello and color with me! I’m bringing markers and colored pencils! And don’t be afraid to invite me to things. I often don’t know what’s going on outside the con schedule. I happily stumbled upon the Crow Wedding last year and I was delighted!
Conversely, I like to sleep. A lot. So if it’s a late thing I may prefer to go to bed. XD
Optional Contact Details: Best way to contact me is via text so if you need to reach me at con, just ask for my number! I am a TERRIBLE texter. And by that I mean I don’t carry on conversations well via text. So sending a ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ after con may not receive a response! I’m more than happy to chat, of course! But I’m a lot like Sherlock…in that one fic…not responding to texts that say ‘hi’. Brand of Gold? Miiiight be a defense mechanism I picked up in order to avoid talking to random dudes who ended up with my number. >.> Anyway! Calling is king.
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 