Tag: allies

I recently posted a careless response to another post. This is the post I should have made instead:

If you have the bandwidth to correct people’s terminology and assumptions without being an asshole please do, because we only grow from education and experience.

If you lack the bandwidth for that today or any day, it is fine. Bitch to your friends or on Tumblr or whatever you need because self care is important too and it is exhausting to explain things all the time. One of the reasons we need minority spaces, whether that is a GSA or any kind of diversity related high school or college club or center or bar or whatever separate space, is to be with people we don’t have to explain ourselves to.

Tumblr as a culture right now seems to be rife with calling people out and presenting ‘receipts’ of bad behavior which might just amount to misusing a term. Yes, there are people who are doing abusive, horrible things and need to be stopped, but sometimes people are just in a learning curve. If you feel like sending anything, send corrections, not for example, death threats. I wish I was exaggerating. The world would be a little easier to navigate for people who want to be our allies if we try not to yell at people who are making attempts at changing their terminology, or sometimes their whole worldview. They will make mistakes on the way, as we all do. My mom has always had gay friends, is really socially liberal, but used to be a strict enforcer of the gender binary and she’d say really thoughtlessly hurtful things. Often. She’s getting better. Sometimes her attempts at humor or just general inclusivity are cringe-worthy and when I have the bandwidth I help guide her. I hope all those of us who are able will do the same.

gaywrites:

Last week, Wyoming Sen. Mike Enzi said men who dress flamboyantly or cross-dress are “asking” to be assaulted. The good people of Wyoming responded with a mass bar crawl and public display of solidarity – wearing tutus. 

“Honestly, this is what we do in Wyoming. Straight men all over the state are going to be joining their LGBTQ siblings and wearing tutus, buying their queer friends drinks and having a great time,” Equality Wyoming’s Sara Burlingame wrote. “It is a great time to be in the Equality State where we talk out differences and show up for each other — with or without tutus.” […]

“We always say that in Wyoming you can be just about anything you want to be, as long as you don’t push it in somebody’s face,” Enzi told students from Greybull High School and Middle School. “I know a guy who wears a tutu and goes to bars on Friday night and is always surprised that he gets in fights. Well, he kind of asks for it. That’s the way that he winds up with that kind of problem.”

The senator later apologized for his choice of words on Tuesday.

“I regret a poor choice of words during part of my presentation,” he said. “None of us is infallible and I apologize to anyone who has taken offense. No offense was intended. Quite the opposite in fact, and so I ask for your understanding as well.” 

Wyoming! Incredible response to ignorance. I love this. (via LGBTQ Nation)