if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”
but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but – we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection – better get down to bidness.
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but – no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.
I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and – every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.
I’ve done cataloguing of figures where the previous cataloguer had looked at this figure and had written:
Wooden figure of a man. c.1800 BC. Middle Kingdom. Provenance unknown. Object likely to have been part of a tomb model, though what type is unknown. Partial remains of paint still evident on the face. Arms show some signs of warping. One leg is missing, but other two are still intact.
Looking at this figure, it was clearly one of a naked man who was now missing a leg, but still had one leg and one intact penis. Needless to say I amended the entry to make sure the fact that the figure had a penis very much apparent to future readers.
Even funnier, those pots were almost certainly found in graves. Someone was buried with that. Why. I’d like to read that paper.
I have a mighty need in my life for erotic pottery.
Then it’s time to custom order some of that shit on Etsy
“I think it might be of interest to the family that their slave-in-chief, their pillar of virtue, has secreted within the confines of his cubicle Rome’s most extensive and diversified collection of erotic pottery.” –A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Went to the British Museum to see a special exhibition of Egyptology. There was a section on the mysteries of Osiris. Osiris sarcophagi had erections. No mention of this on any placards to my recollection. Seemed to me it was the elephant in the room. I did my own research and as far as I can tell it has something to do with fertility of the Nile delta, and something to do with the story that Osiris was murdered by his brother Set, and chopped into pieces, and Osiris’s sister-wife Isis went looking for the pieces and found all except for his penis which had been devoured by a fish. So she mummified Osiris to keep all his parts together and then she and Thoth had another dick made for Osiris and then Isis transformed herself into a bird (a kite, specifically) and did the do with her mummified husband and his detachable penis and conceived Horus the Younger. Why she had to be a bird for this I don’t know.
But maybe I WOULD if the renowned egyptologists at the damned BRITISH MUSEUM said something about it!!
NO SEX PLEASE WERE OUTDATED ANTIQUARIANS
(To the tune of “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” from The Pirates of Penzance)
Don’t bring these matters up to an outdated antiquarian; They’ve spent their adult lives learning the arts humanitarian, And they can date a stela and with aplomb they can answer the Questions that arise from any shattered bits of amphora But if you try to date them or engage in saucy diatribe They’ll clutch their pearls and clam up like the shell beads of the Maya tribes So do not speak of phallic Greek or yonic Indo-Arian, It enrages and embarrasses the outdated antiquarian.
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Please donate to the Canadian Red Cross. It will save lives.
American red cross has a 3 out of 4 stars on charity navigator right now and a B+ on Charity Watch. It did have some major problems in 2011-14 but has worked to resolve them. if you can support an A rated charity for similar work, please do, but 89% of the money they raise goes to their work right now.
“The problem is
I still call myself a woman
and every time it drops from my mouth
the word feels like a bar of soap slipping
through my fingers,
fish out of water,
something I wish I could reel back into myself.
I call myself a woman and it feels like an accident:
like a six car pile-up just outside city limits, like
you were so close to home.
You were so close.
You could have been exactly
what they wanted you to be
when they wrapped you in a pink blanket,
when the doctor said girl and they were so happy.
But how could the word woman
feel like such a stranger
when I have been wearing it my entire life? The problem is
my gender is language I cannot speak, yet.
I go wide-eyed-jealous, sticky-handed child
reaching for the bodies of the strong-limbed boys
I have always wanted to look like.
I think of how many things I’d be willing to give up
so that I could look so long, so that I could look so flat,
look so sharp and so boy.
But my curves are something I am not ready
to be divorced of, yet.
I look down at my body and think
no, I will not abandon you. Not yet, not again,
not like the rest of them.
I think—Girl.
I think—Girl.
I think,
Girl, you have been unwanted in so many hands.
And I can’t turn traitor to my own powder pink.
I can’t bleed the woman out of my lungs.
I have tried.
She does
not
go
easy.
Instead, I wear woman like a coat two sizes too small.
It doesn’t fit, anymore, but it smells like home. When I was thirteen, all my daydreams
were technicolor:
taking these heavy, useless things
on the front of my body
and chopping them off with a hacksaw.
I say I want the reduction because my back hurts–
because they have crippled my body into
something unusable.
What I am afraid to admit
is I want the reduction
because I don’t want
them, anymore. What do you do when you are given the choice
between two costumes
and neither of them has enough elbow room?
What do you do when the word woman
is the only one that shares all the violence
that’s been done to you for daring to look so
sweet?
What do you do when the word woman isn’t
wrong—it’s just not the whole story?
And you don’t have a word for your story.
What do you do when you love that word–
woman. Girl. She. Her. Her’s–
but you don’t like how it looks on you.
But “he” just looks like it’s missing something–
the word man has never belonged to me without
woman in front of it. Sometimes
all these words feel like an ancient text
that don’t have the degrees to decipher.
They don’t make sense to me.
I don’t want them. But I live in a society that says
I have to be one or the other, that there is no
in-between, just accidentally mismatching
of body parts. At the end of the day, I have no quarrel
with my body—only the things everyone else seems
to assign to it. Only these words that feel useless
up against the person I have worked so hard
to love.
Only woman: ill-fitting as it sometimes is.
What I want to know, is
am I allowed to hold woman at arm’s length
and love it like my favorite dress?
Am I allowed to put it down
when it is too heavy
to carry?”
— QUESTIONS FOR GOD, OR JUST ANYONE WHO’S LISTENING by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)
I recently heard the news that Adam by Ariel Schrag will be getting a movie. I read the book myself about a year and a half ago and I cannot stress enough just how problematic it is.
Adam is a book about a cis boy pretending to be a trans man in order to trick a lesbian into dating him.
Adam goes to New York to stay with his lesbian sister for the summer, and while he’s there he meets trans men who consider themselves lesbians. At a party he meets a lesbian he thinks is pretty and in order to get into a relationship with her he lies and tells her he’s a pre transition trans man. Let’s make a list of some of the highlights from the book, shall we?
At the very beginning of the book his sister and her girlfriend visit home and Adam and his friend spies on them having sex.
Almost all the trans men in the book identify as lesbians, implying that they are still women because they haven’t transitioned yet.
Adam, a cis straight boy, tells a lesbian that he is a trans man to trick her into dating him.
Incidentally Adam is 17 I believe, pretending to be 21. His girlfriend is in the 23 range, I don’t recall exactly.
There are explicit sex scenes, the first of which involved Adam using an ace bandage to hold his erection down and using a strapon to have sex with her.
In the second one he claims to be using a strapon but is, in reality, using his actual penis.
Which is fucking rape.
The book doesn’t try to justify this, it somehow manages to do something worse.
This second scene is one of the last in the book. After he pulls out he lays down next to her and confesses that he’s not trans. She responds “I know.”
She says after they first had sex she started fantasizing about him as a “real guy” (yes quote) and that the image stuck in her mind and she started subconsciously imagining him with a penis.
And it gets worse.
So he goes back to ohio and she sleeps with other girls (because for some reason she decides not to break up with this cis 17 year old who lied about his identity literally raped her) and one night he gets drunk and calls her a bitch and a fucking whore and whatever, and THAT’S apparently the point she thinks that maybe they should break up.
And one day they message eachother to catch up i think maybe he graduated at this point idk but hes planning on visiting his sister in new york and they wanna meet up and
She tells him about her new boyfriend.
Get ready for it
Cis. Man.
So. We have
An underage cishet boy lying about being an adult trans man in order to trick a lesbian into dating him!
A scene in which he actually rapes her!
The lesbian in question becomes attracted to cis men making Adam, essentially, conversion therapy!
Do NOT support Adam (2018)
Ariel Schrag used to sometimes be in my high school for some reason, so I’ve met her in person and let me tell you with just one look at her it becomes obvious that she sees trans men as an advanced form of butch women
Well, Dorian Gray was barely subtext. The editor censored the first edition without Wilde’s permission and even then there was such an uproar that the second edition (released the next year) was much more heavily edited–that’s the version most of us are familiar with. The original version contained such lines as,
“It is quite true I have worshipped you with far more romance of feeling
than a man should ever give to a friend. Somehow I have never loved a
woman.” And everyone knew Wilde was queer.
Meanwhile, Dracula frames gayness in monstrous terms. This is a literary device that’s been used in many queer stories in homophobic times: make it tragic, horrifying, monstrous, and the cishet audience will feel comfortable in their removal from it, while the queer audience recognizes their otherness.
And unlike Wilde, Doyle was staid, and respectable, and not especially radical; and his characters’ queerness was framed in purely emotional terms. They are devoted, tender, adoring, intensely intimate, but never sexual. Doyle repeatedly makes Holmes seem to be removed from lust by nature; frames his queerness as an absence of feeling toward women, rather than a physical desire for men. And Victorians loved intimate friendships. They considered them to be quite separate from sexual passion. A man could promise his friend to love him forever, offer all his loyalty, share his rooms, and take his arm in the street. As long as there wasn’t a hint of carnality, no one minded. (Honestly, quite a number of Victorians didn’t mind if there was; but publishing a book about the subject brought out the cultural gatekeepers.)
@a-candle-for-sherlock I recommended for @brilliantorinsane ’s book list Richard Dellamora’s ‘Masculine Desire: the Sexual Politics of Victorian Aestheticism’, a difficult but brilliant book on exactly this subject. You’ve just summed up its 223 pages in a paragraph.
Intensely homoerotic friendships, love, emotional passion, deep devotion between men were accepted – just – as long as they could be fitted into a paradigm where those men also were married, or were planning on marrying, or even had been previously married to a woman, and any sexual activity was male/female. Women were predicated as the gatekeepers of male’s sexual desires. And a large part of the discourse around what was acceptable between men was played out in those male spaces where women were absent: universities, the church, the army, political fora, clubs. It was there, in the absence of women, that men policed themselves and others most strongly to ensure that friendships remained acceptably pure. Reading the literature, it is quite clear that men who broke the rules – men such as Wilde, who were openly sexual with other men – posed a tremendous threat to all those who carefully constructed their lives to fit with the socially acceptable model. If Wilde could make it clear that sex and love went together, then what of those men who loved other men deeply, whose emotional lives were completely centred around other men, but who refrained from physical expression of their love? When society so strongly condemned genital expression of love, but allowed intense devotion, where does that leave men who felt their affections needed physical as well as emotional, expression?
(This is where my Watson in SFISYF is at the moment. He is deeply, intensely devoted to his Holmes. But where can he go with that love, when society applauds it as an essential aspect of male hegemony when it is chaste comradeship and soldierly devotion without sex, but condemns it as the most vile of sins if it is expressed sexually?
His is the dilemma faced by many. And Holmes’ dilemma is similar, in that he knows his own desires, but has been taught to consider carnality – the matters of the flesh – as incompatible with chaste comradeship and soldierly devotion.)
There was a lot of discourse centred on Greek concepts of love at this time. The Judaeo-Christian contempt for the body and its needs and wants, the neo-Platonist ideas of the ideal society, the Greco-Roman concepts of how men should achieve dominance through Empire, were in conflict with the actual evidence (written materials, art, ceramics) that, whatever Plato said about the best loves being pure, men in Greece and Rome engaged unashamed in genital activity with each other.
Judaeo-Christian tradition condemned sexual activity between males. Plato considered it to be a factor that detracted from the highest form of love. In Rome, sexual excesses and male/male activity were associated with the least praiseworthy emperors – Caligula, Nero, Heliogabalus. For upper and middle class Victorian men taught to propagate and support the societal paradigm of Empire, the need to integrate these two aspects of male/male interaction – the strong homosocial bonding needed to make Empire work, and the intense emotional ties it required – with a complete absence of physical expression of love produced a psychic conflict that many of them struggled in vain to resolve.
This is one reason why when men such as John Addington Symonds and Edward Carpenter did form happy homosexual partnerships, it was often with men of a lower social class – men unburdened by the neuroticism developed by education in public schools and its consequent mindset. It is why Maurice can be happy with Alec, but not with Clive. It is why the Dublin Castle Scandal, the Cleveland Street Affair and the Wilde trials happened: in all three of those ‘moments’ which tipped society into homophobic retreat, one of the things that was most strongly reprobated by judges, juries and public alike, was that there was a transgressive sexual relationship not just between men, but between men of different classes. These relationships between Gustavus Cornwall and the renter, Jack Saul, between Lord Arthur Somerset and the Earl of Euston and their telegraph boys, between Wilde, and his street lads, struck at the basic of the social compact: that homoerotic devotion in the chaste Greek mode was acceptable so long as compulsory heterosexuality was also forcing men to marry and breed to maintain society. If society allowed for men to be devoted to, to marry other men, England might fall, and worse, the hegemony of the monied upper classes might be broken.
(And don’t even get me started on what that meant for women. Nobody even considers the life of Gustavus Cornwall’s childless wife, to whom he’d probably transmitted the syphilis that eventually killed him. Una Troubridge, lesian lover of Radclyffe Hall was treated all her life for the syphilis her philandering husband gave her as a wedding present. Mary Benson, wife of the Archbishop of Canterbury, forced into a marriage with him at an age too young to say no, had lesbian affairs all through her married life. And there are other examples.)
It is impossible for us to consider the relationship of Holmes and Watson, and what it might have been without considering its social and political context. Doyle wrote as a man of his time, imbued with its ideas and ideals and subject to its neuroses. To understand what he writes, it’s also necessary to understand where he’s writing from.
Excellent précis! Thank you so much for the tag. I feel like “subtext” is a somewhat misused word in lots of fandom discussions, and context is often overlooked entirely. This is a very helpful reminder.
I want to be able to selectively subscribe to someone by fandom on AO3. I deleted a fair amount of notifications, because I love an author but they are currently writing in a fandom I know nothing about or have no interest in. There should still be the option for a blanket subscription. there are some people I would follow into any fandom and might get into a fandom because of them, but sometimes you just want The Sherlock stuff and not EVERYTHING. thoughts?