Deregulation will get you killed. Republican policies make your life worse.
To be even clearer for those who aren’t going to click the article – the reason that e. coli infested lettuce is such an issue is that if the lettuce is watered with or otherwise exposed to contaminated water, the vascular system of the plant sucks it up, so that it’s inside the part of the plant you are going to be eating raw.
Washing and even sterilizing the outside of it won’t help, and you don’t cook lettuce. The only way to make sure there’s no e. coli in your lettuce is to make sure no e. coli gets in your lettuce.
Which requires testing and regulating the water used in production.
I also want to make clear that companies in charge of this 100% had the option of keeping clean water instead of cutting costs. Just cuz the rule isnt there doesnt mean they dont have to follow it. They MADE this choice.
be christ-like this christmas. gather a crowd and inspire them to anarchism. beat a politician with a whip. help out your local sex workers. preach equality.
We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives.
Raise. Awareness.
For the uninformed, vaginismus is when the vagina painfully tightens and spasms when faced with pressure, usually from anything trying to insert into the vagina. It’s the reason I can’t wear tampons, and why many people can’t have vaginal sex without severe pain.
There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively – they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.
Seriously, this is so unaddressed and uncared for in medical circles. Please spread awareness, even if all it’s for is to let those who have it but don’t have a name for it finally be able to understand what’s happening to their bodies.
I’ve never even heard of this??
Me neither. 😦
Thank you for sharing bc I think I might actually have this but I thought it was just me. I can barely handle so much as a tampon. Will have to bring this up at my next doctor’s appointment.
So, there is a website dedicated to vaginismus which I suffered from for years and had no idea how to talk about it. I found this website ten or twelve years ago and bought some of their products which helped immensely. I know nothing about the medications, but the dilator set is probably the best you can do because it is a way to help widen the vagina on your own terms. I still have mine even though I haven’t needed it for years because it could come back later.
One thing I appreciated about this website is that it emphasized that this is not your fault. Another thing I learned was that one cause could just be, you know, being part of a culture that gives women extreme anxiety about sex. This resource helped me when I was a lot younger and terrified that I was broken.
Anyways, here’s the website. Please share it with everyone you know: x
Brent Weeks included a character with vaginismus in his fantasy series, The Black Prism. It’s plot relevant (she needs to consummate a political marriage–to a husband she sincerely loves, no less), and she’s treated as a well-rounded character who it’s just one aspect of, and Weeks included an author’s note that was like “btw, this is a real thing. Here are resources on the topic. You’re not broken and you can get help.”
Which, like, from a male author? That’s pretty neat.
Vaginismus is psychosomatic and often is caused by anxiety. It’s also very real and quite painful.
It can be caused by sexual assault, but it can also be caused by just plain lousy sex. In some cases there’s no apparent cause.
It can occur during sex and/or during pelvic exams. Some people (hi!) experience it only during pelvic exams or pap smears. (Mine was caused by an incompetent medical professional who didn’t pay attention and used a speculum that was too large). And, as mentioned, some sufferers can’t insert tampons. I’d imagine it’s not impossible for somebody to be fine with sex but have problems with tampon insertion. I’ve also heard of people being fine with a penis but not with toys and vice versa. (Lube, people. Lube).
Vaginismus is a major cause of dyspareunia (painful intercourse), but there are other causes, which can include:
* Not producing enough natural lubrication. This can be a result of insufficient/bad foreplay, but some people never produce enough and levels of lubrication can drop during and after menopause, after childbirth, and while nursing. It can also be a side effect of medication. Lube exists, and some people have to use it. Vagina owners should always use water-based lubes.
* Injury down there, often as a result of childbirth complications.
* Yeast or bacterial infection.
* Ezcema
* A deformed vagina (this is rare, but it does happen. It’s generally connected to a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as AIS)
* Scarring from pelvic surgery.
* Stress.
* Ovarian cysts
* Pelvic inflammatory disease.
* Ectopic pregnancy
* Some STDs, such as genital warts
* Vulvodynia – pain in the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. This one’s even worse…we do NOT know what causes it.
* Latex allergy if using condoms. If using lube causes more pain, you may be allergic to the lube.
* Cystitis
* Uterine problems such as fibroids or endometriosis
* Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix)
Many of these can be treated or worked around. Sex is not supposed to hurt. And if it does, you and your partner need to address why. Many doctors actually recommend sex therapy as a couple if you have vaginismus. If you have an infection down there, it can be treated. If your vagina is too dry, you can use supplemental lube. But you need to talk to your doctor if at all possible.
Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I’ve got some things to say.
I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, “Asexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.”
Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, “Is there an opposite to that?”
I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.
Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.
As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no idea what was happening.
Anyway, Bella isn’t looking where she’s going and walks smack dab into me. That’s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards… And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever.
She’s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She’s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I’ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can’t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn’t. Cry.
So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women’s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven’t been in a woman’s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I’m realistic, I know I don’t pass so well, so I don’t think anyone would have said anything anyway.
Before I can even ask her what’s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, “I think I’m broken.”
I’ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She’s one of my dearest friends. She’s like my little sister, but if she’s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they’re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They’re a duo. They’re a package deal.
Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she’s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn’t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn’t listen. Bella saw no other option.
Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. “That’s okay. You just haven’t dated me yet. We’ve been like, unofficially together for years. You’re probably just freaked out that it’s finally going somewhere.”
After that I’m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could ‘fix her.’
Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That’s when I found her.
Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would ‘solve the problem.’
Bella was traumatized. She’s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn’t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.
Instead of a warm, welcoming environment… The first thing someone said to her was, “This place is for REAL lgbt people. You don’t belong here.” He also implied she wasn’t human.
Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;
A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)
Sobbing in my arms in the women’s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.
Being told she wasn’t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.
This isn’t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I’ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.
Aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQ+ community. You literally cannot change my mind.
Did I already queue this? Dunno. But let me say that I’ve never stood by while gatekeepers try to well, gatekeep.
I didn’t put up with it as a teenager really into sci-fi, I didn’t put up with it from the dude bros in game and comic shops, and I certainly won’t stand for it in my LGBT+ community.
Aces and aros are welcome in my community.
You bet your ass that aces and aros are allowed here. And you can fight me if you don’t agree.
hot take but girls with ADHD don’t ‘present differently’, it’s just that misogyny punishes girls and people read as girls a lot more severely for their ADHD symptoms so most girls become way more proficient at masking their symptoms so end up being left undiagnosed and then just develop depression, anxiety, trauma and burnout over not being able to meet standards that are difficult if not impossible for people with ADHD and being harshly reprimanded for it
So, if you’re like me and work in a place with public bathrooms, you most likely have seen this shit before. Some racist fuck graffiti’d up your bathroom with nazi bullshit with a permanent marker.
Tired of this bullshit? Me too, so I’m gonna show you how to get rid of it nice and quick!
The tools you need: A cleaner appropriate for the surface, the appropriate tool to to wipe said surfaces, and the crucial piece: A dry erase marker.
It’s embarrassingly easy to get rid of and is gonna make those nazi fucks upset that we don’t tolerate their bullshit.
Just grab your marker…
…and draw over it
then you spray it with your cleaner and then… wipe
ta-fucking-da
now you too can use your new-found hack to get rid of sharpie graffiti
remember kids: fuck fascists, fuck nazis and racists, and fuck white supremacy
The HR manager tried to convince me that the offer was competitive. She told me that she couldn’t offer more because it would be unfair to
other paralegals. She said that if we did not agree to a salary that
day, then she would have to suspend me because I would be working past
the allowed temp phase. I insisted that she look into a higher offer and
she agreed that we could meet again later. Before I left, she had
something to add.
“Make sure you don’t talk about your salary with anyone,” she said
sweetly, as if she was giving advice to her own son. “It causes conflict
and people can be let go for doing it.” (This is to the best of my
recollection, not verbatim.)
It wasn’t all that surprising to hear this from a corporate HR manager. What was surprising was the déjà vu.
Just three months earlier, some of my coworkers at the coffee shop
told me that our bosses, who worked in the office on salaries, and even
the owner, got a higher cut of the tips than we did. One barista told me
that when she complained about it, the managers reduced her hours.
When you make minimum wage and have to fight for more than 30 hours
per week, tips are pretty important, so I sat down with my managers to
discuss the controversy. That’s when they told me not to talk about it
with the other baristas. The owner “hates it when people talk about
money,” my manager added, and “would fire people for it if he could.” I
sulked back to the espresso machine, making my lattes at half speed and
failing to do side work.
In both workplaces, my bosses were breaking the law.
Under the National Labor Relations Act of 1935 (NLRA), all workers
have the right to engage “concerted activity for mutual aid or
protection” and “organize a union to negotiate with [their] employer
concerning [their] wages, hours, and other terms and conditions of
employment.” In six states, including my home state of Illinois, the law even more explicitly protects the rights of workers to discuss their pay.
This is true whether the employers make their threats verbally or on
paper and whether the consequences are firing or merely some sort of
cold shoulder from management. My managers at the coffee
shop seemed to understand that they weren’t allowed to fire me solely
for talking about pay, but they may not have known that it is also
illegal to discourage employees from discussing their pay with each
other. As NYU law professor Cynthia Estlund explained to NPR,
the law “means that you and your co-workers get to talk together about
things that matter to you at work.” Even “a nudge from the boss saying
‘we don’t do that around here’ … is also unlawful under the National
Labor Relations Act,” Estlund added.
And yet, gag rules thrive in workplaces across the country. In a
report updated this year, the Institute for Women’s Policy Research
found that about half of American employees in all sectors are
either explicitly prohibited or strongly discouraged from discussing
pay with their coworkers. In the private sector, the number is higher,
at 61 percent.
Damn managers have definitely told me this before
Always reblog
adding to this on the subject of medical/family leave:
a coworker of mine (and integral part of a voluntary team he and I are the sole members of) had to have foot surgery and was told he’d need six weeks to recuperate. when he went to HR they told him his best option was to resign and then reapply for his same job after his 6 week recovery time.
he originally asked them if he could take those weeks as unpaid time off, and was about to take their “quit and come back” offer because they made it sound like the only option. this would have cancelled the very same healthcare he was using to pay for the treatment in the first place.
this is a fairly common tactic HR managers will try to use to scare workers out of taking any leave at all, or force you to reduce the amount of time you are “unproductive.”
you are entitled to twelve full weeks of (unpaid) time off to care for a family member or to recuperate from medical conditions. the explicit qualifying scenarios are listed on the website above.
you are entitled to keep your job and return to your position on completion. any repercussion/dismissal from your company is illegal. do not get bullied out of your job for medical treatments you or a family member needs. if you are in a situation where you are being forced to quit for a situation that qualifies under FMLA you should contact a lawyer.
TO REITERATE:
IT IS ILLEGAL TO BE FIRED FOR DISCUSSING PAY WITH FELLOW EMPLOYEES. IT IS A TYPE OF WORKER/UNION SUPPRESSION.
Note: NOT ALL EMPLOYERS AND NOT ALL EMPLOYEES ARE ELIGIBLE UNDER FMLA.
You have to have been at the employer for at least a year, working close-ish to full-time hours, AND there have to be x number of employees within y miles.
Specifically, it’s one year, in which you’ve worked at least 1,250 hours, which is actually about 25 hrs/wk. And 50 employees within a 75-mile radius of your office. (which, interesting side note, can mean that staff at a large company’s headquarters would be eligible for FMLA, but the handful of people staffing a small, remote location of the same company might not be if they’re far enough away from the company’s other worksites.)
Also, the law doesn’t exactly require that you be returned *to your position* – you must be reinstated to your position or a substantially equivalent one. Meaning similar pay, working conditions, type of work performed, etc. So when you get back they can move you from one office job to another, as long as the pay and benefits are equivalent, and you can’t do anything about that. But they couldn’t move you out to a warehouse job, because the working conditions and type of work are not equivalent.
Oh and since a lot of ppl apparently don’t know this, FMLA can be taken intermittently, in as small as 2-hour chunks, for treatment of chronic conditions. So if you get migraines, you don’t need to be off work for 12 full weeks at once, but it would be good to be able to take a couple days every few weeks when you need it without worrying about getting written up for taking too much sick time. And FMLA covers that as well, so if that’s what you need, ask for it.
Beltainefaerie's Flights of Fancy 