I really don’t think people who aren’t Autistic or who don’t struggle with sensory issues understand that when it comes to certain stimuli, those things provoke actual feelings of pain, nausea, disgust, discomfort, etc for people that are Autistic/have sensory processing disorder.
Take “picky eating.” I was labelled a “picky eater” even as a little toddler. I couldn’t eat sauce, tomatoes, or have my food touching other foods. People said stuff like “She’ll grow out of it” or “She’ll eat it if she’s actually hungry” or “Tastebuds change; she’ll like it when she’s older!“
But the fact was, if it was a food I couldn’t eat, I literally couldn’t eat it. I’d try to eat lasagna and start crying, and gagging, and I’d have to spit it out. Guess what? I didn’t “eat when I was hungry” if it was one of those foods, I just didn’t eat. This was especially an issue when I started going to school and daycare (I eventually got a note from my doctors that detailed my Autism diagnosis and sensory problems, so that the local kids center would provide me with alternative meals. They treated it the same way they did with kids with allergies, basically.)
Also, I didn’t “grow out of it.” I still cannot eat tomatos, sauces, and most mixed food dishes. Because I just can’t even make my mouth chew and swallow without gagging and spitting the food out. Just a couple months ago I went to grab some chicken wraps from the local taco place, and I asked specifically that they hold the sauce. But they didn’t, so when I took a bite I got a mouthful of pain and chucked it right into my napkin (gross, I know. I’m making a point here though.)
So when Autistic people, or anyone with a sensory processing related disorder, tells you that they cannot handle something-whether that means being touched, wearing certain clothes, being around noise, or eating certain foods-remember what I just said. That’s how it feels, when people willfully ignore our reminders and warnings about our stimuli and triggers. That’s what you’re doing when you touch someone when they tell you it hurts them, or make them wear that suit or outfit, or put sauce on their food when they politely ask you not to. Granted, overload is different and presents differently in everyone, but bottom line-you’re choosing to disrespect someone’s boundaries, and their medical issues, and you are hurting them when you force certain stimuli on them after they’ve asked you to stop. Just respect people, and don’t shame people for not being able to handle or do the same stuff other people can.
I legitimately didn’t know this! Thank you for detailing it in such a straightforward way, I imagine it was annoying to get into the details of such uncomfortable experiences
Ya boi just took some asshole for a ride. Some schmuck called me from a (spoofed) DC number with some cockamamie story about how he’s with the Federal Government and they’ve randomly selected me to receive a $7000 grant, oh and I’ll have to go pick it up at any of several chain grocery stores. Keeps using these “check-in” phrases that are meant to prompt you to say yes.
But see, joke’s on him: I’ve heard of this scam, and I don’t talk like most people. When I answer the phone and someone asks for me by name, I say “Speaking,” not “Yes.” So every single time this assclown tried to get me to say “Yes” I’d say something like “Understood” or “Go on.”
You see, the scam is, they trick you into saying “Yes,” and bonus if they can get you to repeat numbers (esp. 0-9) and/or “I agree.” What these low-lives do is record your voice and then use the sound bytes to make fraudulent charges in your name.
So fuck this guy right off the bat.
The more I dicked him around, the more frequently he started trying to goad me into saying the y-word. The funniest part came when he was going to “give me a confirmation number.”
Him: The confirmation is seven, one, three…
And he just STOPS. The “three” was pitched up to indicate there’d be more. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on.”
And this bitch goes, “Yes, the confirmation number is seven, one, three…”
And he STOPS AGAIN. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on,” again.
And he STARTS! OVER! AGAIN! He did this TWO MORE TIMES before giving me the “full confirmation number” and a “number to call,” which together JUST HAPPEN to include all ten digits, 0 through 9.
This entire time I haven’t said a single word that could be construed as agreement. So he asks me to repeat the numbers back to him. I decide I’ve had enough at that point. I tell him to get a better job, hang up, and block the number.
Another “DC” number immediately calls me. I reject & block it.
And then I filed a report with the Federal Trade Commission. :3
BE WARY. Get yourself on the National Do Not Call Registry. If a number you don’t recognize calls you, DON’T REPLY “YES” OR ANY OTHER GENERIC AFFIRMATIVE TO ANYTHING THEY SAY OR ASK.
The original scam is a robocall that starts off with “Can you hear me?” The most correct response is to hang up and report it to the FTC. The second best is “I can hear you,” if you’re not sure or if you forget. But get into the habit of using responses other than “Yes” on the phone. These fuckers are everywhere.
It gets worse, OP. Your voice can be spliced to sound like you agreed to something. You may have given them enough to do that with. Like those Microsoft Windows people that call and want your ‘important numbers off your computer’ I talked to them for far too long and only found out after the fact that they could make fraudulent charges just by splicing some of your words together. They were after something different, but it amounts to the same thing in the end. Also there’s the common ‘press 1′ people as well. It’s best to just hang up. The Attorney General says to get an answering machine and they can’t really do anything about them because they’re constantly spoofing numbers. Neither can the phone company, and they Charge You Money for reporting them!
Oof. Reblogging for additional warnings. I’ve already made my report to the FTC, so I’ll just be keeping a close eye on my finances for a while. (Like I’m not already given my situation.)
never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
… 8|
That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.
Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes
Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”
Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”
When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?
And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking
happy birthday crimson-winter! i hope you enjoy this, i made it specifically for you because you have been screaming into the void about this song for an age. feliz cumpleaños!
Many, many thanks to @nspamc for their fantastic commissioned work of a surfer John and Sherlock smooching in the surf in honor of Gimme Shelter by the ineffable @sincewhendoyoucallme-john
I am relatively young but in final stage renal failure. I have a higher chance of survival IF I can recieve proper medical care AND LIVING ASSISTANCE in a different state. Get me OUT of Mississippi.
The long post w the good explanation is being shared but not inspiring much help. So, I simplified it.
My illness is straight up fatal. Not gonna beat around thatBush, anymore. I seem desperate for help because I AM desperate for help.
My nephrologist has seen enough improvement in my kidney function, lately, to believe someone my age (early 30s) might have a longer life WITH PROPER AND FREQUENT MEDICAL ATTENTION. Sadly, that just isn’t an option where I live.
Please, if you can help me with moving expenses (even just a couple of bucks) I would be grateful. I’m sinking fast in Mississippi and now my doctors are giving me too much hope to ignore. I wanna get out of this situation and I’m working my fatigued, brain-foggy ass off to make it out of here.
If I can undo the damage my heart failure caused to the rest of my body, I want to. I don’t want to spend another month KNOWING what I should be eating, what medicines I should be taking, what tests and treatments I should be getting… and receiving almost none of it because Mississippi lawmakers think people like me have somehow earned slow, painful deaths.
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