This is my first real fandom space despite being a tumblr old, but I still understand the purges. When I lost my LiveJournal I lost all my personal posts of every private journal entry I’d made along the journey from frustrated housewife to fulfilled polyamorous teacher, every scene I’d ever had with my Master as well as processing the first Sir I had (who turned out not just to have a dick but to be dick, which is a whole other story I had processed there). The terror and delight at finding my way back to submission. Every scene I ever topped in was written up in there as well as every time I submitted and let go. The weeks of waiting for our gf to get her STI screenings from her doctor so we could really play. I still have my memories of those times, but without much clarity because the intersection of ADD with anxiety and depression means that my memory is pretty sucky. When I read those entries, I could for a moment be back in the exact headspace I was when I wrote them. Good for most of those things, not so great for the posts I wrote when in a self-harm space, but nonetheless I do miss being able to read all these things sometimes. However, I have gone on to build other things. I am sad but I am also resigned. if this all blows away, I will rebuild somewhere new.