I’m really struggling with my identity right now. I’ve ID’d as asexual for a few years now, and i really like it, but for the last few weeks I’ve started thinking i may be lesbian. I don’t want to play into exclusionists argument that asexual are just confused or whatever, and like i said i really do like IDing as asexual, but for the first time in my life i could actually see myself as having a s/o in the future, idk what to do, i still haven’t told my mom.

jaimistoryteller:

jxhniarty:

fuckyeahasexual:

If you like IDing as asexual, do. 

Aces can have s/o’s, I do.

I’m a bi ace, maybe you are a lesbian ace

That isn’t playing into exclusionists, it’s just figuring out another valid label

i’m an ace man married to a man, nonny. You can HAVE relationship. You can even have sex! It doesn’t mean you can’t be ace.

Popping in to suggest:

https://ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity.tumblr.com/

A blog dedicated to ace and aro people who are wlw in any form or fashion

Sorry this is long I just have so many feelings about this!

Maybe you are homoromantic asexual and want the partnership/cuddles/etc and not the actual sex or maybe you are demisexual and need to feel deeply about a person before sexual feelings develop. Sexuality can be fluid over your lifetime. I assumed I was straight, because compulsory heterosexuality, then thought maybe I was bi because I liked girls. Eventually I realized I wasn’t developing any crushes on guys, so I thought I must be a lesbian and eventually realized that I am more accurately pansexual and demisexual, because I develop love and sexual feelings for people regardless of their sex/gender, but only after I am deeply attached emotionally (and when I was in high school I was only that close to women so of course I identified as a lesbian.) As an adult I found all the words for me. Don’t worry so much about the permanency of a label. Discovering a new facet of yourself doesn’t invalidate what you experienced or understood before.

Also worth noting is that some ace people are sex repulsed and others have sexual feelings in general, but they don’t experience sexual attraction, so they might masturbate rather than enjoy sex with a partner. Still others are fine having sex out of love for their partner and enjoy feelings that I would say are comparable to compersion (they polyamory concept which is the opposite of jealousy basically meaning being happy for your partner’s happiness; in that case it is enjoying their happiness with another partner but I think it is a similar to enjoying experiencing something with your partner that you enjoy their enjoyment of, rather than enjoying or seeking out the experience yourself. Kinda like being willing to watch a movie or TV show you don’t care about just because your partner likes it.)