I recently posted a careless response to another post. This is the post I should have made instead:

If you have the bandwidth to correct people’s terminology and assumptions without being an asshole please do, because we only grow from education and experience.

If you lack the bandwidth for that today or any day, it is fine. Bitch to your friends or on Tumblr or whatever you need because self care is important too and it is exhausting to explain things all the time. One of the reasons we need minority spaces, whether that is a GSA or any kind of diversity related high school or college club or center or bar or whatever separate space, is to be with people we don’t have to explain ourselves to.

Tumblr as a culture right now seems to be rife with calling people out and presenting ‘receipts’ of bad behavior which might just amount to misusing a term. Yes, there are people who are doing abusive, horrible things and need to be stopped, but sometimes people are just in a learning curve. If you feel like sending anything, send corrections, not for example, death threats. I wish I was exaggerating. The world would be a little easier to navigate for people who want to be our allies if we try not to yell at people who are making attempts at changing their terminology, or sometimes their whole worldview. They will make mistakes on the way, as we all do. My mom has always had gay friends, is really socially liberal, but used to be a strict enforcer of the gender binary and she’d say really thoughtlessly hurtful things. Often. She’s getting better. Sometimes her attempts at humor or just general inclusivity are cringe-worthy and when I have the bandwidth I help guide her. I hope all those of us who are able will do the same.