teapotsubtext:

of course john didn’t see sherlock after the wedding for over a month, of course he couldn’t stand it, sherlock waited until his best man speech at john’s WEDDING to tell him i love you i love you i love you, and john is thinking you couldn’t have told me this even TWO HOURS ago, i literally JUST got married, and here you are, you’re telling me i could have had what i wanted all along, what the fuck, what the FUCK am i supposed to do with this information NOW, SHERLOCK? NOW?! YOU TELL ME THIS NOW.

no wonder he’s angry, no wonder they don’t talk, no wonder john is packed and waiting

just imagine john having to sit with the knowledge of all that sherlock said, sit with it over his honeymoon and over that first month with mary, thinking maybe sherlock would call him and say i meant it all you know and john would say yes i think i did know that and they would run away together … but sherlock doesn’t call and john doesn’t call because he’s afraid, afraid like he always has been that he’s wrong, that he heard it all wrong, that it’s just too good to be true, and then after their time apart, sherlock has raised the walls back up because how else could he live? and john sees him again and he’s a fortress and john is so angry because

oh look, i was wrong, i was wrong all over again and he didn’t mean those things the way i thought and that look on his face didn’t mean that he was mine if i wanted, and i have wasted away the first weeks of the marriage that was supposed to SAVE ME from all this, thinking that there was another way, and now here you are and here i am and we’re what we always were — i love you and you can’t feel, and anything else is an illusion